Twenty-seven years later

27 years ago today, I arrived in New Zealand to begin my life with Nigel. That sentence is the one true thing about this date, one that Nigel and I always saw as our main anniversary because it was when “we” began. But that’s a memory now. Maybe the fact my life in New Zealand began on this date in 1995 is what will matter more in the years ahead? I still don’t know.

Around the time Nigel and I were married, I was thinking about anniversaries—and by then we had quite a few. I already knew it was HIGHLY improbable we’d see the 50th anniversary of our 2009 civil union, let alone our 2013 marriage, but I thought we had a good shot at reaching our 50th anniversary of November 2, 1995. Fate had other ideas; fate is such an arsehole. Now, though, I know can’t even be sure I’ll see the 30th anniversary of the date—we can’t know anything about what fate will decide. That arsehole.

What I’m still saying, to repeat what I said last year, is that “the original reason to celebrate this particular anniversary is now gone, and my own personal reason doesn’t yet have any meaning for me that I can adequately describe or explain, and that’s because my life in general lacks such meaning.”

I have no idea if this uncertainty will change in the years ahead, or how it might change if it does. Right now, the fact that Nigel and I always saw this anniversary as our main one is still the main thing I see when I see the date on the calendar. And I’m still perfectly okay with that.

Happy main anniversary, sweetheart.

Previously:
Twenty-six years later (2021)
Twenty-five years later (2020)
Twenty four Years (2019)

Posts from happier years:
Twenty Three Years Together (2018)
Twenty Two Years Together (2017)
Twenty One Years Together (2016)
Twenty Years Together (2015)
Surreal 19th Expataversary (2014)
Eighteen (2013)
The day that really mattered (2012)
Sweet sixteen (2011)
Fifteen (2010)
Fourteen (2009)
Lucky 13: Expataversary and more (2008)
Twelfth Anniversary (2007)
Eleven Years an Expat (2006)

Related:
Ex, but not ex- – A 2006 post about being an expat
Changing policies and lives – A 2011 post about becoming a permanent resident
12 years a citizen – A 2014 post about becoming a NZ citizen