Important decisions

Yes, yes, decisions about elections and a new government’s policies are all very important and what not, but there are some things that are far more important than that, so much so that they transcend politics, religion, the current performance of one’s favourite sports team, or the relative merits of Taylor Swift’s latest release. What truly matters is peanut butter.

Five years ago this month, I made a similar joking introduction to a blog post about peanut butter. That post was about brands I tried and what I liked. Then, things changed.

One of the brands I mentioned in that post, “Woolworths American Style Smooth Peanut Butter”, was Nigel’s favourite, something he had on toast for breakfast nearly every working day for several years, right up until not long before he died. After he died, things took an unexpected turn when I decided I preferred that same brand, something I talked about in a post in May 2021. Then things changed yet again.

Sometime in the last year or so, the peanut butter disappeared, then reappeared. At the time, I assumed it was related to the infamous supply chain issues after all the Covid lockdowns. That assumption was reinforced when it appeared in Countdown again—until it finally disappeared again and even the shelf labels disappeared, something that didn’t happen the first time it disappeared. I assumed the brand was discontinued.

The next chapter was, “what should I switch to?”. My first impulse was to go back to the brand I preferred in that 2018 post, the “Pic’s No Salt Added Peanut Butter”. Only trouble is, I didn’t like it nearly as much anymore.

Then, I found out that Countdown started carrying US-made Skippy, so I bought a jar, even though I knew its nutrition profile wasn’t great: On the bad side, Skippy was higher in sodium, energy (kilojoules/calories), and fat (including saturated fat), and also lower in fibre than the old brand. On the other hand, it was somewhat higher protein and lower in sugars (which surprised me because I think it tastes sweet).

When I was a kid, Skippy was my favourite brand. I didn’t have a “taste memory” triggered when I tried it this week, but I don’t know if that’s because the formulation has been changed, or if my tastes have—or maybe both—but in any case, it didn’t compare favourably with either my memory or the now-lost brand.

I’m only two servings into this test, but I’m already certain this is a detour in my search, and not merely because to taste: Today I went into my nearest Countdown for something else and saw that they had Skippy on the lowest shelf, which in my experience is usually where cheap brands as well as where products being phased out often end up. I suspect, but certainly don’t know, that this is at best an experiment to see what happens, and that if it sells well it may move up a shelf or two, or it may otherwise disappear, just like the lost brand did. At the moment, I’m predicting the latter outcome.

In comparing the nutrition profile of the two brands, I looked at the label of my last, basically entirely empty, jar of the old brand, and noticed for the first time that it was made in the USA, too, I thought about how there are plenty of other US-made peanut butters Countdown/Woolworths can sell, but for me, once this jar of Skippy is used up, I plan on trying other brands, ones with better nutrition profiles and, almost certainly, only ones made in New Zealand. Clearly, I have very important decisions to make—far more important than next year’s Local Government elections, right? Right?!

A blog version of a ‘haul’ video

I watch a lot of YouTube Channels across a lot of types, genres, fields, etc. While there’s no single unifying factor in my choices, the most common thing would be an engaging or entertaining host. Among them are “lifestyle vloggers”, for lack of a better description, which includes many gay and gay-friendly hosts who are so chipper that they provide a welcome antidote to much of the negativity I run across on news and political Channels (which I also watch).

This was on my mind because yesterday I was getting ready to put away the stuff I bought on my outing to Mitre 10 (etc.) last week. All the stuff was still together, and as I looked at it I realised that some of those vloggers would do a “haul” video of such a collection of newly purchased stuff, basically, a kind of “show and tell”.

I don’t make YouTube videos right now (and may never do so again), so it wasn’t that I was thinking that I could make such a video. Instead, I was just kind of amused by the thought that I could—until I realised that I could come up with a way to do a blog version of a “haul video”. This, then is that attempt.

This blog idea is actually nothing new for me: I’ve frequently posted photos of some tech thing I’ve bought, sometimes in some state of undress—sorry, unboxing. Back in September 2020, I talked about my compost bin and showed photos of the box and once it was opened, saying in the caption, “this is as close to an ‘unboxing’ post as I'm likely to get.” That was literally true—I’ve never done an “unboxing” post—but I’ve come pretty close, photographically, at least.

This time, I’m skipping such a reserved approach. So, as so many YouTubers like to say, that being said, let’s get into it (I wanted to add a layer of authenticity).

The photo above is everything I bought at Mitre 10 Mega that day, apart from hand sanitiser I keep in my car.

In the background is a new laundry basket, which was actually the one thing I intended to buy at Mitre 10 that day (mine had irreparably broken a couple days earlier). This particular one is a brand called Sistema, which was founded in Cambridge (about a half hour south of Hamilton) in 1987. In 2017, company founder Brendan Lindsay sold Sistema to American giant Newell Brands. As part of the sale, Newell Brands agreed to keep manufacturing the products in New Zealand for 20 years. I also remember reading that they also agreed to provide lifetime employment to Lindsay’s first employee.

So, for now, the BPA- and Phthalate-free plastic products are New Zealand made, though foreign owned; I always choose NZ-made when possible. In this case, the basket was about 50% more expensive than the cheapest one (made in Thailand), but cheaper than some others (I didn’t consider them, so I didn’t look at where they were made). The one I bought is also far more robust than the cheapest basket, or the one that broke (a roughly 20 year old one that was also made in New Zealand, by a different company).

The other things in the “haul” are pretty simple.

Leaning up against the right side of the basket is a trigger that can be put onto a can of spraypaint. I saw similar ones used on furniture makeover and some decoration Channels I watch, and had never seen them in NZ—until last week. Basically, they make it easier to paint with a can of spraypaint, making it work more like a paint gun. I have several things I need to paint, and I’m looking forward to seeing how well it works.

Leaning horizontally against the basket is a telescoping magnetic stick that makes it easier to pick up screws, etc., that have been dropped. This, too, is something I saw on furniture makeover Channels. Anything that can reduce how much I have to bend over is a very good thing these days (Nigel and I bought a magnetised metal tray that screws are put into so they won’t fall all over the place before they’re needed).

Moving forward from the telescoping magnetic stick is a tool with curved picks on each end. This particular tool is used to remove O rings (like from a motor), however, I’ll use it when I’m refinishing furniture to clean out grooves, particularly when I use paint stripper. Many years ago (seven? More?) Nigel and I saw a set of dental instrument-like picks at a home centre on Auckland’s North Shore. He joked about buying them so he could do the periodontal work I needed. I’ve never seen them in New Zealand since. This tool will be good enough for now.

To the right of that is a set of foam earplugs for when I’m using power tools. I already bought safety glasses, replacing a pair that was cheap and nasty (and probably thrown away) and one that wasn’t a lot better; the ones I bought are good quality, but not top of the line). I think the conventional earphone-like hearing protection would be too hot, so I thought I’d try these first.

Finally, at the bottom of the photo, is the ruler I bought (I’d already returned the one I hadn’t paid for). As with everything else in this “haul”, I haven’t used the ruler yet, but will soon.

And that’s it. Not exactly a big “haul”, but I’ve seen some YouTubers who could make a video about this stuff last 15-20 minutes. Mind you, I suppose a slow reader might have the same time commitment with this post?

This time, I’m not going to daringly (recklessly?) declare I won’t do a “haul” again, which would be similar to what I said about not doing an “unboxing” post. One just never knows, really, especially because when I talk about my projects, talking about anything special I needed to do or buy is kind of part of it. So, maybe a “haul-lite” part of future posts?

Mainly, this whole post was intended as a bit of fun. My teasing YouTubers in this post is done with affection (I love watching their videos, obviously), and respect (I don’t make any videos about anything, yet they do videos one to several times a week). If I ever did make a “haul video” it would, no doubt, poke just as much fun at myself.

Right now, though, I need to haul myself out to the lounge to take on another part of a mini-project, and that, too, relates to recent blog posts. It’s the circle of blogging, or something.

Palindrome and ambigram day

Yesterday was 22-02-2022 here in New Zealand, several of us posted memes on social media yesterday. Today, that merriment was repeated when the date arrived in the USA, though with the less elegant “02-22-2022” marker. It’s one of the few times such special sequence of numbers in dates worked better in our date arrangement format.

At any rate, the whole “Twosday” thing was a bit of fun. A set of twins was born in Auckland on 22-02-2022, and while the time—around 11am—wasn’t exactly special, the twins were born two minutes apart. The births were the result of a pre-scheduled caesarian, but does that really matter? In future years, the twins will be able to tell the story (and their parents will probably tell it until they’re able to do so). The parents probably really didn’t realise the “significance” of the date: I certainly didn’t until I checked facebook yesterday morning and saw the first post about it that I’d see that day.

And, anyway, it was all just a bit of fun. With everything going on in the world, we needed that.

The image above was shared on social media yesterday and today. The author is unknown.

‘Meming’ on a Sunday

The picture is of a fake album cover I made, which is the result of a meme a friend posted to Facebook. Called “Create Your Debut Album”, it has several steps:

1) Go to Wikipedia and click “Random" (or on the desktop web version, click “Random article" on the left sidebar). The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2) Go to "Random quotations" @ http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php. The last 4 or 5 words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3) Go to https://www.flickr.com/commons. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4) Use Photoshop or whatever to put it all together, then post your Album cover with this text in the caption.

Tag friends if you want. All are welcome to play.

Links were in the original

Naturally, I never tag anyone in these things; I figure anyone who wants to do them will do them, and the rest will ignore it. My friend also doesn’t tag people, so I chose to do it, but really for one reason: Step one.

When I did Step one, what I actually got was an article entitled, “Infectious disease (athletes)”, and I realised that “Infectious Disease Athletes” was a pretty awesome band name.

I could very well have stopped there, were it not for Step Two: The last four words of the last quote were “keep your mouth shut”, which I thought went particularly well with the name of the “band”. It's the end of a quote from Robert Newton Peck, "Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut." Then at this point, I almost stopped again.

The problem here was Step 3: The meme originally directed people to Flicr’s “Explore/Interestingness/7 days”, but the problem with that is that most, or even all, of the images used were marked “All rights reserved”, which means that any derivitive work, even for this meme, is a violation of copyright. I do not like that.

Flickr has a section called “The Commons”, which has photos with no known copyright restrictions, making them arguably better. Also, every time the page is accessed, there are different photos displayed. However, not all of them are suitable for this, especially some of modern photos which have identifiable living people. That might be not the best thing to use for this purpose. And, while it can’t be guaranteed that the photos are in the public domain, they’re probably okay to re-use for derivative works like this, because they have no known copyright restrictions. So, on balance, it’s a better choice (and I’ve changed the instructions above to use The Commons instead).

As it turns out, I was lucky: The third photo was “thought to have been taken 1935 between Kent and High Streets, Sydney” in Australia, according to the photo description. That was luck, though.

And that’s it: I saw a meme with very detailed instructions, the first two steps produced results I thought were funny, the third threw up a roadblock which I got around, and then I made the “album” cover. Meh. I’m not a great designer—and yet, I want to know what the album sounds like, so I guess the “album” cover works?

Anyway, it was just a bit of Sunday evening fun.

Kiwi Kath’s summer

The video above is an online ad for Kiwibank, the New Zealand government-owned bank, the biggest bank operating here that’s not owned by Australians. This ad is also the very opposite of Australian, packing in as many Kiwi clichés and imagery as possible. And there are quite a few.

The character of Kiwi Kath, “the unofficial most Kiwiest Kiwi in New Zealand”, is played by Karen O’Leary, an actress best known to New Zealand for her role in the NZ comedy TV series, Wellington Paranormal, which is a spinoff of the awesome NZ comedy film, What We Do in the Shadows. In that film she plays Officer O’Leary, a role she reprises in the TV series, which has been confirmed for a second series.

I’m keenly aware that this video will have a lot of slang that non-New Zealanders won’t understand, and much of the imagery will go right past them. But Kiwis will get it, and if anyone who perseveres and gets to understand the video will be an honourary Kiwi. It’s Christmas—we’re feeling generous.

In the new year, Kiwibank’s parent, NZ Post, will be announcing some branch closures/restructuring. So, promoting a summer break is a good idea. And the ad definitely Kiwi as.

Related: A portrait of Karen O’Leary in connection with Wellington Paranormal, which was published on Stuff.

Me memes

It’s good to have friends, isn’t it? And as a blogger, it’s good to have blogging friends who provide content to blog about. Recently, Roger Green tagged me in one of his posts “but”, he added, “only if he wants to so he can make par.” Roger is the only person I know who cares as much as I do about whether I make my annual goal for the number of blog posts (he may quite possibly care a bit more about it than me…). So, here’s his meme:

Available/Single? Neither. I’ve made that clear by now, I think.

Best Friend? Well, Nigel obviously. Aside from him, probably someone I’ve known since fourth grade, when we were nine or ten.

Cake or Pie? Depends. Cake for birthdays, and maybe just because. Pies are nice, too, and nothing beats a good NZ meat pie for lunch. Steak and cheese or (beef) mince and cheese, if you please.

Drink of Choice? Well, by volume, coffee, hands down. But I also choose wine (less than I used to) and the odd fizzy drink (soft drink).

Essential Item You Use Everyday? Like Roger, my electric toothbrush—or maybe my iPad. I could get an old fashioned toothbrush if I had to choose…

Favourite Colour? Well! It’s been blue my entire life, but it has a political meaning here (the leading party on the Right uses blue). So, I pick red, the colour of the party I support, the Labour Party. But in the USA, they’re the exact opposite. So, while blue is still my favourite, I’ll choose red in some NZ contexts instead.

Gummy Bears or Worms? I don’t care. In high school I sold gummi bears, but I’ve had gummi worms since, and they have some charm.

Hometown? I’ll pick Chicago, where I lived before moving to New Zealand, a city I have a strong attachment to.

Indulgence? Dunno. Probably the iPad game “Simpsons: Tapped Out”. I play it every day.
January or February? January because of my annual increasing number.

Kids and Their Names? No human kids, but the furbabies’ most-used nicknames are just minor corruptions of the actual names, Jakey, for example, or Bells-a-bells, Sunny-bunny, Lee-lee.

Life is Incomplete Without? My husband—duh! Other than that, probably writing stuff. I just can’t stop.

Marriage Date? Which one? Actual marriage was October 31, Civil Union (the big ceremony) was January 24, and we mark our anniversary together as November 2. I may have talked about those dates a time or two, but I’m not sure.

Number of Siblings? Two, both older.

Oranges or Apples? Either. I will eat either or drink their juice.

Phobias/Fears? Roger said, “Trump in 2020”, which is true for me, but I get the actual “fight or flight” response from two things: Spiders and snakes. Well, not the last one in New Zealand, but I would if I saw one.

Quote You Like? Changes frequently, but today I was reminded of one from Oscar Wilde (from “The Importance of Being Earnest”): “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

Reason to Smile? Silliness. Life is too serious, too much.

Season? Summer.

Tag Three or Four People? Nope. People can self tag, if they so wish, and let me know they did it by sharing a link in the comments.

Unknown Fact About Me? I was once brought home by the cops. I was about five, I think.

Vegetable You Don’t Like? Can’t think of any, but I haven’t had every one. Among fruits, though, I utterly despise passionfruit.

Worst Habit? If I knew that, I’d stop it…

X-Rays You’ve Had? Chest twice (once for immigration, the other for my stent) and arm after a work accident (nothing broken).

Your Favourite Food? Pizza, ideally American-style cheesey-gooey pizza. Otherwise, Margherita pizza.

Zodiac Sign? Aquarius. I’m still waiting for my age to dawn, but I don’t really know what the moon’s “Seventh House” is, or why it needs so many, so maybe I missed it…

Okay, so that was Roger’s meme. I ran across another a day or two later from one of “The Robs”, friends from the Pride 48 podcasting community, and Nigel and I have met both of them in real life. This blog is public, so I won’t say which Rob I stole this from, but he’s welcome to claim credit.

The Name Game meme:

It may be harder than you think. Every answer has to start with the last letter of the previous answer.

Last name.........Schenck
Animal............... Kiwi
Girls Name.......... Ingrid
Boys Name.......... Damian
Color.................. Navy
Feeling............... Yucky
Name of a movie... Year of Living Dangerously
Something you wear.... Yarmulke
Food................... Eggs
Bathroom Item.... Shampoo
Place.................. Oamaru
Reason for being late.... Unwell

Copy, paste, and erase my answers then add yours. Have fun! Or, not.

That viral mash-up meme

The very brief video above is a copy of a viral video apparently shared originally on Facebook, and it’s a mash-up of Kavanaugh's testimony with the hamburger scene From Pulp Fiction, complete with “naughty” words. Apparently, no one knows who made it originally, but the video made a lot of people laugh at a time they needed it most.

Let’s be clear: The video doesn’t tell us any truths, doesn’t reveal any new information—or any information at all. Instead, it just takes two unrelated things and throws them together in a way that makes people laugh—though I bet that some Republicans might not think it’s funny, convinced that Democrats/Liberals/whatever are being mean to them. This isn’t actually partisan as we normally understand or use that term, but is the sort of topical parody that once was common in the days before everyone, Right and Left, became such delicate flowers.

If we really wanted to mock Republicans and their bald attempts to fix the confirmation process in their favour, we might point out that someone using a computer in offices of the US House of Representatives edited a Wikipedia page in an attempt to make it match the falsehood Kavanaugh said in his testimony that’s since become a huge topic of mockery all over the Internet.

Whatever, the meme’s just funny.

Have you signed in?

This video is by comedy duo The Fan Brigade performing their song “RSA”. Shot in the Huntly RSA, the bit is quintessential Kiwi humour—especially the naughty words at the very end, and the last line in the credits.

I saw them perform this on this year’s TV3’s “Comedy Gala”, which was part of the NZ International Comedy Fest. I thought they—and this song in particular—were among the best things I saw on that broadcast.

I came down with a bad winter cold a couple days ago, and it’s gotten worse since. I’m hoping that it’s starting to go away, but I haven’t been up to blogging. All the more reason to have a laugh.

Footnote: The RSA (technically, Royal New Zealand Returned and Services Association) is one of the oldest of its kind in the world. It’s a bit like the American Legion or the VFW in the USA, except that anyone can join the RSA.

Taste Test: Substitute naughtiness

Like a lot of people, I may try new food and drink products as they’re released, if it’s something I might be interested in, anyway, but I don’t normally blog about it. Truth is, I have no idea why I don’t, so it’s time to change that with a new product from Coca-Cola.

Today I tried Coca-Cola No Sugar, yet another sugar-free version of Coke, this one, the company thinks, being the closest yet to the sugar-full version. New Zealand is the third country to get the new product, after Mexico and Spain.

The company was so eager for people to try the new product that they decided to give out some 200,000 free samples around New Zealand, according to Newshub. I have no idea whether that’s a lot or not, but I can say this: I bought my own drink at a store—it wasn’t free.

This is actually the second time I tested the product. The first time, I compared it to Coke Zero, because it’s the version I normally drink, and because I don’t drink “real” coke. At the time, I reasoned that since that’s the case, it didn’t really matter much to me whether it tastes a lot like the original. But the company’s whole focus was on its comparison to—ahem—the real thing, so I realised it was unfair to not include that. But, to be totally fair, I’d have to add Diet Coke, too. This became way more complicated than I’d planned.

So today I went and bought a 300ml bottle of each Coke variant and, after taking the photo above, set about the comparison.

For each bottle, I opened it, let the gas out, then sniffed it to see if it had a smell (“bouquet”?). I tried a sip as I’d normally have one—I didn't leave it in my mouth because that can irritate my tongue, and I didn’t slurp it like wine. Instead, I treated it as if I was drinking it normally.

Between each bottle, I had some water, rinsed my mouth, ate a couple plain salty but otherwise unflavoured potato chips, and rinsed with water again. I chose potato chips because they’re relatively bland, and because I often drink cola when I’m having a meal with potato chips or fries. I also felt the saltiness would make sure I wasn’t desensitised to sweetness in the various drinks.

I sampled each drink in the order they were originally released (left to right in the photo), and sampled them each three times. This is from my notes (energy content per 300ml is what was printed on the label of each bottle):

Coca-Cola Original (540kj per 300ml): Smells like Coke, tastes like what Coke should be. After one sip, there’s a hit of very sugary sweetness and a mouthfeel of syrupiness. The carbonation was the gentlest of the three.

Diet Coke (4.5kj per 300ml): Little to no smell, a sharp sweetness mixed with strong carbonation. The taste seemed slightly bitter and metallic—“fake”, if you like—but was definitely lighter mouthfeel than original Coke.

Coke Zero (4.2kj per 300ml): I’ll admit upfront that I’d always assumed that this and Diet Coke were just different packages of the exact same thing, but, maybe not: Coke Zero had a very slight/light citrus smell. While it doesn’t seem as sharply sweet as Diet Coke, it did also taste slightly metallic. However, it was not as metallic/bitter as Diet Coke—not as “fake”, I suppose. The carbonation was not as strong as in Diet Coke, and that may be why it had a lighter mouthfeel than Diet Coke.

Coca-Cola No Sugar (4.2kj per 300ml): The guest of honour at today’s test kitchen had a slightly bitter smell, but that wasn’t reflected in the taste. It had very strong carbonation and a slightly acidic mouth feel, possibly due in whole or in part to that carbonation. To me, it basically tastes the same as Coke Zero, but less sweet and less bitter than Diet Coke.

My conclusion is that, no, Coke No Sugar is not like the original sugar-full version, but is more like Coke Zero than it is like either the original or Diet Coke versions.

All three Cokes without sugar use aspartame (sweetener 951) and Acesulfame K (sweetener 950). Like saccharin, Acesulfame K can be somewhat bitter. It could be that the specific balance of sweeteners accounts for the flavour variations, especially the relative bitterness, or maybe not. I should add, too, that original coke in New Zealand uses cane sugar alone, and always has.

While I only drink sugar-free fizzy drinks, I don’t drink any kind very frequently. In fact, I’m far more likely to have soda water with a bit of fresh lemon rather than any commercial product. Nevertheless, if I’m going to have a cola product, I’d definitely consider Coke No Sugar as a choice, but, to be honest, I’d probably choose Coke Zero first: There are reasons I prefer it over Diet Coke and the original version, after all.

Finally, it’s important to point out the bleedin’ obvious: The non-science here. I’m not any sort of professional taster, nor did I use double blind sampling nor any controls. This is not intended as an objective or even remotely scientific evaluation: It’s just me taste-testing the latest variety of one of my favourite treat foods and reporting what I found. Your determination, gentle Coke-sipping reader, may be completely different from mine, and that’s okay: I don’t see why Arthur’s Law can’t apply to food tastes, too.

This was all a bit of fun, really—and a good excuse to try the new Coke product. As luck would have it, this also gave me a topic for a blog post—wins abound. Now pardon me while I go and finish some of my Coke products: They won’t stay fresh forever once the bottle has been opened, and I don’t want to waste any!

The products tested, their names, and their bottle shapes, are all registered trademarks of The Coca-Cola Company, and are used here for purposes of description and clarity. No company or entity provided any support or payment for this blog post, and all products were purchased by me for this taste test. So, the opinions I expressed are my own genuinely held opinions, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the manufacturer, or the retailer, or any known human being, alive or dead, real or corporate. Just so we’re clear.

A needed diversion

This video is not about important things, which is why it’s so timely. In it, Vox answers the question, “Why do cartoon characters wear gloves?” I actually really have wondered about that. Now I know.

It’s true that many people may perceive what’s going on in Washington, DC as a sort of dark anti-cartoon, but maybe that’s just another reason for a brief time out. Personally, I like some light diversion from time to time, and that’s what this video is for me.

Well, that, and kind of interesting, too.

Geeky holidays

Every March, social media fills up with people wishing each other a “Happy Pi Day”. It turns out, there are others, too. Yesterday was another of those days, something I learned about today—and about other days, too.

I never paid much attention to Pi Day because it’s talked about using American date format—month/day/year. So, Pi Day is March 14 because 3/14 are the first three digits of the numerical expression of Pi. I suppose the best time to observe the day would actually be 3/14 at 16:00 (4pm), because 15:09:26.5358979, or, just before 3:09pm and 27 seconds, has a stray zero in the“09”, which would drive math nerds round the bend; better to round it.

In our part of the world, which like most countries uses the day/month/year date format, Pi day can’t exist because there’s no fourteenth month. Or, can it? I learned today that there’s actually a Pi Approximation Day on 22 July because 22/7 is the fraction approximation of Pi.

I learned about that today because my sister sent me an email wishing me a happy “Square Root Day”. One thing leads to another, of course.

So, I Googled “Square Root Day”, and it turns out that it’s an actual thing, created by a high school teacher and “celebrated on days when both the day of the month and the month are the square root of the last two digits of the year,” like, 4/4/16. The next one isn’t until 5/5/25, then 6/6/36, both of which I ought to live to see, but 7/7/49 is a bit iffy, 8/8/64 even more so, and 9/9/81 seems highly improbable—though you never know! At least Square Root Day works regardless of date format.

But the nerdy fun doesn’t stop there!

There’s also Mole Day, “celebrated among chemists, chemistry students and chemistry enthusiasts on October 23, between 6:02am and 6:02pm”. I never really studied chemistry, so this one was beyond me; I’ll let Wikipedia explain it:

“The time and date [6:02 10/23] are derived from Avogadro's number, which is approximately 6.02×10²³ defining the number of particles (atoms or molecules) in one mole of substance, one of the seven base SI units.” [Links in the original]

I recognise there were words in that explanation…

What these three days have in common is that they celebrate the fun and excitement of people who are really into math and science, and that’s great by itself. They may also help keep people aware of the science and math that’s behind every single aspect of the universe, and maybe it’ll encourage them to answer their own question, “what’s that all about?!” That’d be even better.

There are also plenty of days dealing with pop culture, like Star Wars Day on May 4 (“May the Fourth be with you”), and its corollary, May 5, “Revenge of the Fifth (a reference to Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith).

Another similar popular date is May 25, both because the first Star Wars film premiered on May 25, 1977, and also because it’s known as Towel Day, a tribute to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy author Douglas Adams, who died on May 11, 2001 (the significance of towels, for the uninitiated, is explained in the link). The day has since been observed as Geek Pride Day.

There are even cult literary events, some with specific days, too, like Towel Day, and also Bloomsday, held on 16 June to commemorate the life of author James Joyce, because Ulysses is set on that date (the name is derived from the protagonist of the novel, Leopold Bloom).

I’m sure there are plenty of other days observed by geeks, nerds, and fans, and probably all of us fit into one or more of those categories at some time or other, including me: How else to explain how a simple email could send me into a vortex finding out about sometimes obscure and definitely geeky holidays?

It was worth it, though.

How Powerful Is New Zealand?

The video above is from Test Tube News from Discovery Networks, and it was released in May of last year. I saw it for the first time yesterday. And that led to the video at the bottom of this post.

First things first, the first thing: The video up top actually isn’t too bad, though it’s incredibly annoying when she says that the majority of New Zealand’s population lives “on North Island”, when it should have been “in the North Island” (or at the very least, “on the North Island”; no one in New Zealand ever refers to the two main islands without a “the” in front of it).

A second thing: DON’T watch the alternative history video they hype—it’s terrible. The audio is awful (no pop filter was used, apparently), they never really get around to providing an coherent alternative history in any detail, and the pronunciation of Māori words isn’t even close to correct. Including of the word Māori. Just skip it.

Instead, there’s the second video (below) from BuzzFeed, “Why New Zealand Is Better Than Australia”. Obviously tongue-in-cheek, the video is kind of a funny in a knowing sort of way—which is a nice way of saying that if you don’t know what their talking about, much of the humorous barbs will fall flat.

Even so, it’s a light-hearted look at the sibling rivalry between New Zealand and Australia, with a pro-New Zealand tilt. Still, judging by the YouTube comments, Aussies don’t seem to get the joke, which is kind of typical, really (yes, that’s a sarcastic joke, too…).

In any event, I don’t know if they made one from the other side of the ditch’s perspective, because I haven’t looked. I only found this one because YouTube put it in the “Up Next” sidebar to the video up top. I don’t actually go looking for these videos…

Both videos have elements of truth, and both have a bit of fun (the second one in particular). And considering that I was able to bring them in to pinch hit when the post I’d planned for today didn’t work out, I think they’re bloody marvellous.

That, too, is taking the piss, of course.



Update March 15: As Roger Green points out in the comments, and I meant to address in this post, the video up top said New Zealand is a member of NATO, the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation. As most people know or could guess, New Zealand is NOT a member of NATO. However, New Zealand and Australia are among countries that NATO refers to as “Partners across the globe”, countries that are not part of any of NATO’s formal structures. As NATO puts it on their website: “These countries develop cooperation with NATO in areas of mutual interest, including emerging security challenges, and some contribute actively to NATO operations either militarily or in some other way.”

So, the video was incorrect to say that New Zealand is a member of NATO, because it’s not. However, New Zealand does have a relationship with NATO, so I rate this particular fact “Partially True”, since the context was about New Zealand working with international organisations, which it does do.

Needed to go

This week has had a great start: Faced some fears, took care of some business, and even had a chance to make some (literal) toilet humour jokes. Who could ask for more? A warning, though: This post will contain some words that may bother more sensitive readers.

I went to the doctor Monday, the first time in nearly two years. Part of that meant getting a full range of bloodtests, so after fasting all night, yesterday I went to the phlebotomist—such a lovely job title! I call them vampires, since they take your blood.

As she was drawing the blood, she asked if I had a urine sample for her—it was the first I’d heard of it (the doctor didn’t mention it). The phlebotomist asked if I could leave on then, but my first thought, as I said on Facebook, was, “after fasting like 13 hours, how, exactly was THAT going to happen?” She basically said as much just then, in answer to her own question.

So, she gave me a kit to do the collection at home, and it came complete with a rubber-topped vial for the sample, a square tray sort of thing to collect the sample, and a sturdy plastic zip-top bag emblazoned with “Biohazzard” and the symbol.

There was also a slip of paper telling me how to label the tube, and I found it very hard to do: The vial is curved, of course, and the space is extremely small, and what I wrote ended up looing like I was in my late 80s. Or, so I imagined.

But it was the actual instructions on how to collect the sample that gave me pause. They were incredibly silly, and clearly needed a sensible re-write. There were sections with instructions for females, pregnant women (not pregnant females?), males, and “small children”. I didn’t read the instructions for ladies (that’d be rude!), or anything else that didn’t apply to me.

Here are the instructions verbatim, along with my snarky reactions, starting with the three general instructions up top of the sheet:

1. Ensure full first name and last names and date of birth are clearly written on the specimen tube ¬– okay, not much room on that tiny label, but…

2. Ensure date and time of collection is written on the form and collection tube –the separate piece of paper didn’t mention the form, just the tube, which is where I wrote the info; there was way too little room to write all that “legibly”.

3. It is important to take your urine sample to the nearest Labtests collection centre as soon as possible (within 2 hours); if there is a delay, please keep the urine in the fridge – wait, what?! Never saw that, either, but I got it there in like 15 minutes; had I seen that instruction, I’d have had it there in five.

Then, the main instructions for us boys:

1. Wash hands – Shouldn’t this also be number 10?!
2. Pull foreskin back (if applicable) – If not applicable, there’s nothing to pull back…
3. Have urine container ready – Wouldn’t all this be pointless if it wasn’t?
4. Pass a small amount of urine into toilet and do not collect any of the first part of the urine – Okay…
5. Pass a small part of the urine into the container (so the middle part if urine is collected) – How, exactly, is one to determine when the “middle part” is happening?
6. Pass remaining urine into toilet – As opposed to where, precisely?
7. Put foreskin back in place – It must be “put back”? Sheesh, I never knew the extra work I don’t have to do!
8. Pull top off urine tube – Um, can’t pour it in otherwise?
9. Pour urine from plastic container into tube and replace top – You mean, we don’t want it to leak out all over?

Now, I realise I’m being overly pedantic, but it just struck me as simplistic where it didn’t need to be, and vague where it shouldn’t have been. But, bigger labels would’ve been nice!

Anyway, I got the specimen returned, so I should be all set. When I was about to go, so to speak, I posted on Facebook: “Now I have to do the ‘collecting’ and take it back within the hour. No pressure!” I then asked, “once I drop it off, does that make the place a ‘pee lab’?” That pun may be too NZ-specific; in the USA such things are usually called “meth labs”, but, as I said to a friend of mine, “in the USA… my pun would be flushed away.”

That was all just a start. I added a comment when I was back home:

Since I'm sure everyone was worried: Everything came out okay. So to speak. And, I realised after I posted the above I had TWO hours, not one, which took the performance pressure away. Still, the fact I was ready to go, and didn't piss away my time, meant that I was able to drop the sample off just before that hour's courier arrived, so the sample's not far behind the blood sample in the testing pipeline.

And, believe it or not, I think I'm out of toilet humour

Sadly, some of my Facebook friends didn’t believe me. I’m hurt. Well, secretly pleased, but hurt, too. No, really. So much so, I had to make a few more toilet-related puns on Facebook.

And that was my visit to the vampires. I just needed to go.

A Thanksgiving Miracle

I don’t get to see many of the skits on Saturday Night Live, because they’re often geoblocked. I’m glad this one wasn’t, because it's funny—and I bet some American families could use this Thanksgiving Miracle this year.

The YouTube description sums it up:

There's only one thing that can keep a family (Beck Bennett, Jay Pharoah, Cecily Strong, Aidy Bryant, Matthew McConaughey, Kate McKinnon, Vanessa Bayer) from fighting at Thanksgiving: Adele.

I hope all my American friends have a great Thanksgiving, with our without Adele.

Sir David Attenborough narrates Adele's Hello‬

I saw this video a couple weeks ago and forgot about it, which is really a shame because it’s a great video. Sir David Attenborough gives his normal voice over treatment to Adele’s “Hello” video, and it’s hilarious on many different levels. I like David Attenborough’s documentaries, and I like Adele, so this is a perfect marriage. In my opinion.

James Bond – Sex Protocol

The video above is a James Bond parody made by XVP Comedy, the same folks who made “Jurassic Park: High Heels Edition”, which I shared back in July. This video has definite adult humour, and implied sexual themes, but I don’t think it’s NSFW—but, then, I’m not a prude, so…

I think it’s a fun video, and—dare I say it?—more adult in its silliness than many comedy videos on YouTube are. What I mean by that is that it plays with absurdity, and celebrates silliness, without ever insulting the viewer’s intelligence. This is a very good quality in my book. Mind you, the good acting and physical comedy helps, too.

I also liked the over-the-top Bond-like technology. I mean, really, why isn’t James ever given anything as useful as a genital scanner, hm?

Today in viral videos: That Auckland plumber

This video is a travelogue of sorts by Auckland-born Plumber Logan Dodds showing scenes from his three months backpacking around Europe with his Go Pro camera. The video has been quite popular, leading to all sorts of breathless mentions on the Web.

Posted late last week, the video has been viewed on Facebook more than 1,140,000 times so far, and 285,000 on YouTube (the version above). Much of the appeal has been Dodds himself: “This Hot Tradie’s Travel Video Is Going Viral Because People Are Thirsty AF”, BuzzFeed headlined their post. Closer to home, The Edge radio station headlined their post, “This hot Kiwi tradie has officially broken the Internet”

To be sure, the video features some very attractive menz (and probably some attractive women, too…), and in many of the shots Dodds himself is a bit of alright, I think. Clearly many other people quite like the look of him.

All that aside, I liked the palm “slap” as the marker for transitions; I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do it quite like that before. His pacing and structure are also very well done, including both the opening and closing shots. And, the Go Pro does take nice action videos—which figures, since that’s what it was intended for.

Mostly, this is just a bit if fun, and a bit of Internet fame for a Kiwi lad. Reason enough to share it.

The Modern Fundamentalist

I fully endorse this parody of Kim Davis and all the other self-righteous, holier-than-fuck fundamentalists. Besides, this is just plain funny, even if they can’t see it.

I’ve said many times that the greatest threat to freedom, liberty, and democracy is fundamentalist religion, and it doesn’t matter what kind: Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist—it’s all the same, seeking to force one and only one religious opinion onto all people, by force, if necessary (and force always is necessary). Religious fundamentalists don’t want accommodation or compromise, they want conquest: Surrender to them or else!

And at this point I’ll stop this post. The original version said what I really think of religious fundamentalists and their war on democracy. Best I stop short of that point; let them wallow in negativity all they want. It’s all they know how to do, after all.

Jurassic Park: High Heels Edition

A lot of folks have been complaining about how Jurassic World character Claire (played by Bryce Dallas Howard) spent a lot of time running in high heels to get away from dinosaurs. A parody was inevitable, and this is it.

The video was made by YouTubers XVP Comedy, which says of it in the description: “You loved the endless running in high heels in Jurassic World... Now enjoy them in the entire Jurassic series!”

It IS pretty funny: “Footwear 65 million years in the making,” and “these styles aren’t going extinct.”

An Arthur by any other name

This morning, as I caught up on news and views, I saw a link to story about a name generator that would tell you what your name would be today, or in previous decades. I don’t always follow such a link, but this time, well, I was curious.

After following that link, then on to the actual source, Time, I found a baby name generator that uses a very simple idea for some fun. Using Social Security Administration data, it determines what the popularity of your name was in the year you were born, then tells you what that same-ranked name was in every decade from 1890 until today.

So, in my case, back in 1959 "Arthur" was the 76th most popular name for a boy, and today the 76th most popular name is "Ian". I’ve put the complete list at the end of this post.

Obviously there are other factors in baby naming than just popularity, including re-using family names, as my parents did for me. Even so, it's interesting to see how the naming of kids compares over the past century plus.

In any event, I’m still the same wonderful person no matter what my name might have been. At least we can all agree on that!

What my name would have been in previous decades:

2000s: Kaleb
1990s: Brent
1980s: Randall
1970s: Brandon
1960s: Bob
1950s: Lonnie
1940s: Elmer
1930s: Leslie
1920s: Tom
1910s: Orville
1900s: Nathan
1890s: Amos