}

Monday, August 31, 2026

An August side quest

I always have a lot of projects on the go, some big and/or important, and a lot that aren’t—actually, most of them probably aren’t even remotely important. However, some of them end up being useful, making my life easier. This is one of that kind.

For a long time now, I’ve been using liquid hand soap (among other products) from a New Zealand company called Ecostore which makes soaps, cleaners, etc., made using plant and mineral-based ingredients, instead of chemicals derived from petroleum (back in July 2-18, I talked about why I started using the company’s products). Over time, the company changed their packaging, moving from small bottles for use at sinks/basins to a larger size. This mattered to me because the larger size didn’t need to be refilled as often—but they still need to be refilled, of course.

The photo above shows the current pump bottle in the middle, and the refill bottle on the left. The small bottle holds 300ml, and the refill holds 800ml, and so, refills the pump bottle two and two-thirds times, which frankly is a bit odd (I wonder if users tend to under-fill the pump bottle and get three refills?). At any rate, since I use the pump bottle in the en suite to most of all, I need to refill that bottle the most frequently. The bottle on the right side was my solution.

I refill the hand soap bottle at the kitchen sink (in case I spill… and because I use the refill method I talked about back in October 2021)), and then I wash out the empty refill bottle before putting it in the recycling bin. I recently had a pump mechanism from an old bottle laying in the kitchen bench, and I thought, “Hm, that looks like it would fit in the refill bottle.” Since I had an empty refill bottle, I tried it and it worked (I didn’t try the original pump bottle’s pump mechanism because the plastic tube that sucks up the soap would be way too short).

The next time I needed to refill the bottle in my ensuite, I tried putting a large pump mechanism into the refill bottle, and it worked perfectly! I should emphasise that IT worked, however, I grabbed the wrong pump mechanism and use one that had been in a bottle of Leo’s dog shampoo, and I I hadn’t cleaned it after I took it out of the bottle. This meant that for several uses, the soap was lavender-scented dog shampoo, then an odd mix of lavender and citrusy secnt of the actual handsoap. Oops. It didn’t take long to come right.

I’ve had a couple weeks using it now, and I would’ve probably needed to refill a regular-size bottle by now, and it turns out that I really do appreciate a (very) small improvement in the amount of time that my routine household rituals take up. I thought it would work, and I’m glad it did—but I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it if it hadn’t worked. Possibly.

This was obviously a very small, largely insignificant project, but it’s still nice to see it work out the way I thought it it would. I think the actual larger lesson I take away from this is that if I can find ways to improve even common things, why not try it? They won’t always work, but there’s only one way to find out, and I’m glad I did.

And, it also turns out that I’m still a helpful blogger. Nice.

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 19

40 years ago today, a song reached Number One on the Billboard “Hot 100”, the final one for August. On August 30, 1986, “Higher Love” (video up top) by English singer Steve Winwood hit Number One, the first of Winwood’s songs to do so. The song was the first single from his fourth studio album, Back in the High Life.

I remember the song begin on the radio back in the day, and I liked it well enough, though I wasn’t a fan of Winwood. I never bought any of his singles or albums back in the day, though years later Nigel and I bought a compilation that included his 1980 Number 2 hit, “While You See a Chance”. I was also familiar with Winwood’s work with the 1960s band, The Spencer Davis Group, but arguably the main reason I knew about them was because Olivia Newton-John included a cover of SDG's “Gimme Some Lovin” on her 1978 album, Totally Hot, and because two years later, it was included in the soundtrack for the movie The Blues Brothers. And that’s pretty much the entire extent of my connection to Steve Winwood.

“Higher Love” reached Number 8 in Australia, Number One in Canada, 11 in New Zealand (2x Platinum), 13 in the UK (Platinum), and Number One on the USA’s “Billboard Hot 100” and “US Mainstream Rock” charts. It wasn’t certified in the USA.

The album Back in the High Life reached Number 11 in Australia, 6 in Canada, 19 in New Zealand (Gold), 8 in the UK (Gold), as well as reaching Number 3 on the USA’s ”Billboard 200” chart. It was certified 3x Platinum in the USA.

This series will return next week, on September 6. Also, how is it September already?!

Previously in the “Weekend Diversion – 1986” series:

Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 1 – January 18, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 2 – February 15, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 3 – March 1, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 4 – March 15, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 5 – March 22, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 6 – March 29, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 7 – April 19, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 8 – May 3, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 9 – May 10, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 10 – May 17, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 11 – June 7, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 12 – June 14, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 13 – July 5, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 14 – July 12, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 15 – July 19, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 16 – July 26, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 17 – August 2, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 18 – August 16, 2026

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Nigel would’ve been 62

Today my Nigel would’ve turned 62, and, just like last year’s, that would basically be “a shoulder-shrug birthday”. For me, however, the notable thing is that this is the seventh birthday Nigel never got to experience, and I use the word “experience” deliberately, because he hated being the centre of attention—and I loved to try to make a fuss of his birthday at least a little bit as much as he made a fuss of mine (sometimes I even succeeded)..

So, here we are, another birthday missed by the most important person in my adult life, and once again I’m reflective about—well everything, and this year in particular. Last week was the tenth anniversary of when I got my cardiac stent. The thing I haven’t really said often enough about that whole time is how utterly terrified I was. I was worried about how snaking a probe up through the vein in my arm and into my heart was something that might end up killing me, but that wasn’t what I was actually focused on. When they said I was going in for the procedure much earlier than I expected, I was even more terrified, not of the procedure, but that I might die without Nigel even getting the chance to say goodbye (because he couldn't get to the hospital before I went in). The only thing—literally the only thing—I kept focusing on was how much I wanted to get through the procedure so I could see Nigel again. Fortunately for us both, everything went well, and even though we only got some three more years together, we got three more years together than we otherwise might have had.

In last year’s post, I wrote, “I’ve been thinking lately how time feels to me like it’s moving far more slowly than it really is,” and that’s still true. I don’t really have any feeling for how long it’s all been, but I’m always keenly aware of Nigel, who he was, his character, his intellect, his humour, and, of course, how very much he both meant to me and also influenced me. Every single day I remember things he did, said, joked about, and, especially, the way he made me feel. All of that is because of who he was, and I was just the luckiest bastard on the face of the earth that I got to share life with him, far too short though that time was.

As it happens, I visit Nigel’s mum, my mother-in-law, on Thursdays, and I joked with her at one point, “It’s really convenient that Nigel’s birthday this year coincided with my visit day,” and she laughed and said, “Isn’t it!” It’s always nice to spend those Thursday visits with her, but I’m particularly glad that I was there with her on Nigel’s birthday, and I think it made the day a little bit easier for her. This evening, again just like last year, I made Nigel’s signature dish for my dinner, a meal I talked about back in July of last year, and just like last year, it was a good batch. That, too, made me happy.

As always, I’d much rather be celebrating Nigel’s birthday with him (obviously…), and “living whatever our life would have become”, as I put it last year. But the main thing is that he’s still a real presence in my life, and always will be.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart. Always.

Previously:

Nigel would’ve been 61 (2025)
Nigel would’ve been 60 (2024)
Nigel would’ve been 59 (2023)
Nigel would’ve been 58 (2022)
Nigel would’ve been 57 (2021)
Surviving the day and being okay (A 2021 post on how I handled his birthday)
We celebrated Nigel’s birthday (About the party in 2020)
It won’t be a good day (2020 – the first birthday after he died)

Special Note: I didn’t talk about Nigel’s birthday on this blog while he was alive because I wanted to protect him, and so, I didn’t share stuff that was personal to him. I talk about it now because I have no way of knowing who may run across my posts, and maybe they'll help someone else in a situation similar to mine. Besides, I love talking about my Most Important Person.

Friday, August 21, 2026

A reminder of reality

Today was an interesting day. A guy came round to change the filters in the HRV home ventilation system, something they do every two years. It was, as usual, uneventful, but it also ended up being a reminder of how old I am. It happens.

The guy who came today was different from the one who changed the filters the first two times, and it turned out that the operations in the Waikato were bought by a new company. Makes no difference to me obviously, and yet…

After he changed the filters, he checked the airflow from each of the five vents (they were all good, of course), then he sat down to fill out the paperwork, and said, “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but do I hear an American accent?” He didn’t offer why he thought it might be rude, though legend has it that Canadians get tired of being assumed to be from their southern neighbour, which is ironic because these days it’d probably be best if people thought I came from north of that same border.

I said to him, “yes, that's where i came from originally.” He asked whereabouts, and I said, “Chicago”, which is literally the place I moved to New Zealand from, however, that reminded me that whenever my parents took me on holiday—whoops: “vacation”—and someone asked where we were from, she always answered, “near Chicago” (it was really about an hour’s drive from where we lived, but she knew no one in another state or country would know of the town we actually lived in).

The guy then reasonably asked, “how long have you been here?” I said, “30 years,” and he said, “Oh!” and paused no more than a split second before adding, “As long as I’ve been born.” I probably smiled a wry smile, knowing that I’ve actually been living here for closer to 31 years than 30.

That wasn’t the first time my age has been driven home for me, and it’s usually been inadvertent, except when it wasn’t. When I turned 60, Nigel had great fun saying to me, “Fuck you’re old!” Well, that and “I can’t believe I’m going to be married to a SIXTY year old!” I was so looking forward to being able to return the favour when he turned 60, but I never got the chance: He was 55 when he died.

The real truth is, I don’t actually care about how old I am, though sometimes I like to pretend I’m offended when someone mentions my age. Mainly, I’m on team “getting older beats the alternative”. However, I also know that the disconnect between my actual age and how old my brain thinks I am is widening, and I’ve read that’s quite common for people as they age. It certainly is for me, anyway.

I’m not sensitive about my age—it is what it is—but I’m definitely aware of it and of possible future issues. That’s why I started walking every day (except for sick days) for more than a year and a half, and why I started researching more things I can do that may help keep me in reasonably good condition as I get ever-closer to a true “elderly” age.

At the same time, I’m also keenly aware that getting older is a gift not everyone receives, and that’s particularly true this month: Next week is Nigel’s birthday, the seventh he never got to experience, just like the seven of my own birthdays he also never got to experience—or tease me about.

These are things I’m always aware of to some extent or other, but it’s usually front of mind only when something raises it up in front of my face and says, “Hey! You’re old!”. Today a guy innocently reminded me that I’ve lived in New Zealand longer than he’s been alive, and, of course, I also had an even longer life in my native land before that. There are plenty of other everyday things that can remind me, too, of course, but overall, I’d rather be reminded of my age than not be here to be reminded.

One thing is certain: There will be more reminders for as long as I live. And I’m fine with that.

I wrote a detailed post about the HRV system when it was installed in 2020.

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

The very consequential week

Ten years ago this week as very consequential for me. This week in 2016, I unexpectedly recived a stent in a 90% blocked coronary artery, and because of that, I’m still here to talk about it.

The story began on Monday, August 15, 2016 I went to my doctor because I thought my medication was making me feel bad. Nigel coached me on what to say, how best to stand up for myself. Neither of us expected that I’d be sent to the hospital in the back of an ambulance, let alone that they’d admit me so they could give a treadmill stress test the next day. That test was stopped after only a few minutes due to the readings. I was scheduled for an angiogram for the next day, Wednesday, andwhen they discovered the blocakage in my coronary artery, they inserted a stent. I went home the next day, Thursday, August 18, 2016, and on Friday, back at home, I mostly just rested and relaxed.

I talked about this story in great detail a few days after I got home, and in that post I said:
All of this came about because my doctor listened to me and investigated my complaints, but the reason I complained was because Nigel both nagged me and coached me. Without his support, I may not have pursued this, and there’s no way of knowing whether I’d have had another chance.
As I've said many times and in many ways, Nigel was my rock, my trusted advisor, my advocate, my coach, and the one person I could always count on—including taking me for treatment when my heart started acting up, like the two times I ended up in hospital. I spent the three years after getting the stent dealing with tachycardia, then atrial fibrillation, and also trouble with several prescriptions, and Nigel was there every step of the way.

The last time I was admitted to hospital (so far…) was around four months before Nigel died. In fact, when he was first admitted to hospital in September 2019, we joked about how it was his turn and the Middlemore “spa” (the hospital name is Middlemore). Ten days later, he was gone.

Around a month after Nigel died, I had a follow-up appointment with the cardiology team, who recommended me for cryoablation treatment to try to fix my afib. That appointment was the first medical thing I’d done after Nigel died—and suddenly realised I had to figure out who to name as my emergency contact, after a quarter century of Nigel being that person for me, and me for him. It was an incredibly difficult moment for me, but I managed to not cry in the waiting room.

Three months after that cardiology appointment, I shifted to Kirikiriroa-Hamilton. A couple months after that, we had the first Covid lockdown. In December 2020, I finally got my cryoablation procedure at Waikato Hospital (a day treatment), after months of delays caused by the insurance company I had at the time taking many months to finally decide to decline the claim, then there was Covid, and the fact I needed to see (and pay for) a private appointment with a cardiologist here in Hamilton to get onto the waiting list for the procedure.

When the day finally arrived, my brother-in-law drove me to the hospital, a my sister-in-law Barbara picked me up afterward (both because I wasn’t allowed to drive due to receiving a light anesthesia). Also, my sister-in-law Carolyn stayed at my house that night (in order for the hospital to let me go home, they required that I have someone stay at my place overnight—just in case, I guess). The procedure seems to have been a success, since I haven’t had any afib incidents since. But the we also lost Carolyn to cancer in February last year.

My story underscores several things. First, paying attention to one’s body is extremely important—obviously. It’s also important to have people on your “team”, and, as so many of my stories have underscored, when I married Nigel, it meant becoming part of a large family, and I know that if I need help again in the future, they’ll be there. However, I have to be honest: It’s not even remotely the same as having Nigel with me, in sickness and in health—though that particular phrase wasn’t actually part of our civil union or marriage vows.

I’ve had other health challenges since Nigel died, some scary (like the cryoablation procedure), others merely annoying, and most were just kind of meh. The family was, of course, there when I needed them to be, and I’ve been deeply grateful each time. I know, though, that if Nigel had been with me over the past nearly seven years, my journey would have been so much easier. Even so, there’s one thing more: I also know that Nigel would be proud of me for having successfully navigated the challenges of my health journey, things he never lived to see, and especially that I’ve been working hard on trying to prepare myself as well as I can for my elderly years. He’d also be sad that sometimes my journey’s been really difficult for me, but mainly he’d be happy that I chose to thrive well into the future (if the fates allow…).

In so many ways, this week a decade ago was a turning point, though some of what my journey was to become was utterly unimaginable for me back then. Even so, I’m still here, and still pushing forward. Sure, Nigel would be proud of me for that, but maybe more importantly, I’m proud of myself. That really is just like ten years ago.

Sunday, August 16, 2026

Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 18

Sorry, one week off and I nearly forgot that 40 years ago today there was another song that reached Number One on the Billboard “Hot 100”. On August 16, 1986, “Papa Don't Preach” (video up top) by American singer Madonna hit the top of the charts. The song, which would be Number One for two weeks, was the second single from her third studio album, True Blue (the first single was “Live To Tell”, which was the subject of Part 11 of this series back in June).

I liked this song well enough at the time, but if I’m truly honest, that was at least in part because of the reactions of two different groups of people (I could be contrarian that way). The Wikipedia article linkd about describes it well:
The song sparked controversy upon release for its subject matter, drawing criticism from women's and family planning organizations, who accused Madonna of glamorizing teenage pregnancy. Conversely, pro-life groups praised it for seemingly endorsing motherhood over abortion.
I distinctly remember rolling my eyes at back then, snarling something like, “It’s just a fucking song, for fuck’s sake”. I had no more patience then for what I thought was over-reacation than I do now. Some things don’t change. Mind you, my snarl was only in my mind because I hardly ever swore back then—okay, some things DO change. Apparently.

I also well remember the music video, and part of the reason for that was the actor who played Madonna’s boyfriend, actor Alex McArthur, who I thought was quite pretty (he’s just under two years older than me). However, I also recognised Alexander from promotional materials from the 1985 lesbian film, Desert Hearts—even though I can’t remember actually seeing the film. None of that has anything to do with the song, really, but it was a thing back then. Watching the video now, I was struck by the times that the Twin Towers appeared in the background of the shots filmed in Staten Island. I doubt I paid any attention to that back in the day, but now it was the first thing that stuck out for me. Time can change some things.

“Papa Don't Preach” reached Number One in Australia and Canada, Number 3 in New Zealand (Gold), Number One in the UK (Gold), and Number One on the USA’s “Billboard Hot 100” and “US Dance Singles” charts, as well as Number One on the Cash Box “Top 100” chart and the Radio & Records “CHR & Pop” charts. It was certified Platinum in the USA.

The album True Blue reached Number One in Australia (4x Platinum), Canada (Diamond), New Zealand (5x Platinum), and the UK (7x Platinum), as well as reaching Number One on the USA’s ”Billboard 200” chart and on the Cash Box “Top 100 Albums” chart. It was certified 7x Platinum in the USA.

This series will return in two weeks, on August 30, with the final Number One for August. How will September go?

Previously in the “Weekend Diversion – 1986” series:

Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 1 – January 18, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 2 – February 15, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 3 – March 1, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 4 – March 15, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 5 – March 22, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 6 – March 29, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 7 – April 19, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 8 – May 3, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 9 – May 10, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 10 – May 17, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 11 – June 7, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 12 – June 14, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 13 – July 5, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 14 – July 12, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 15 – July 19, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 16 – July 26, 2026
Weekend Diversion: 1986, Part 17 – August 2, 2026

Friday, August 14, 2026

A project finally ends

Today I finished a project to install a wardrobe shelving system in my guest room wardrobe (this is the project I mentioned a couple weeks ago). The short video above shows the project.

This sort of project would normally take me two or three days, but this one took four weeks. Part of the reason for the extra time was that I had to make a LOT of repairs to the walls because the supports for the former single shelf were glued and nailed to the walls, and when I removed the supports, it tore chunks out of the wallboard.

However, the main reason it took so bloody long was that I started the project during the time I was taking that ill-fated prescription I talked about a couple weeks ago, and it’s taken time for me to feel like my usual self. Today I was determined to finish the project—forcing myself, if necessary—and I succeeded. My guest room is again neat, tidy, and ready for guests—FINALLY! This evening I turned on the bedside lamps so I could see the room as it should be every time I walked past the room. Kind of my reward, I suppose.

The video was made automatically for me by the Photos App on my iPad, including adding the backing music. I’d placed all the progress photos and videos I took over the weeks I worked on the project into an album I created, and then the App put all of them into the video, in order (though I rearranged a few photos because I’d added them to the album out of order). And, of course, the photos and videos are all mine.