Another anniversary

Today is the seventh anniversary of when Nigel and I got married. I’ll have more to say about that later today, but, for now, here’s what I said on my personal Facebook today:

Here we are again. Seven years ago today, Nigel and I were legally married, and this is now the second marriage anniversary since Nigel died. This year it’s no easier than it was last year, because even though we had several other days marking us becoming an *us*, this one was special. Marriage was something neither of us thought would actually be possible, until it was (and thank you, New Zealand!). Marriage was important to us both, not just as a concept, nor just for the legal protection it gave to our family—although all of that mattered—but also because it was a way to build a fortress around us, one in which we could be safe and secure and just get on with life.

We loved each other deeply, and that day seven years ago we committed to each other in front of a government official and gained official government recognition of our love and commitment to each other. It was possibly the most consequential day in our lives together, but it was definitely one of the happiest.

I miss Nigel today as much as I did last year, and, even now, there are days I wonder how I can possibly go on without him. It turns out that fortress we built together was stronger than we knew, and it still protects me. This anniversary reminds me of that, and that’s a very good thing.