}

Monday, July 29, 2013

Should it stay or go?

Were it not for the unfortunate clippers incident, I wouldn’t be seeking a crowd-sourced answer to my dilemma. Things are as they are, so why not turn to the Internet for opinions? I mean, that’s what it’s BEST at, right?

The question at hand is what to do about my whiskers: Full beard or goatee/moustache, dyed or natural? A little background is in order, starting way back.

I’ve been dying my hair to cover the grey for about 20 years, give or take. I’ve had this beard for 15 years or so (probably more—I can’t remember), and I’ve been dying it for most of the time I’ve had it.

I’ve used hair dye not so much out of vanity as such, but rather because of the disconnect between my chronological age and the age I feel, as I explained in my blog post for my 52nd birthday. I said back then:
“…I [dye my hair] simply so my outside is a better match with my inside. I see no reason why I should look older than I feel when something so simple can help fix that. There will come a point, I know, when it’ll be more than faintly ridiculous to continue to present how old I feel rather than how old I am, but that day is not today.”
For awhile now, I’ve been wondering if my next birthday should be that arbitrary point at which I stop using hair dye. And yet, I still don’t feel my age—hence my dilemma.

This all came about now because on Thursday, as I was getting ready to leave for our weekend away, I decided to trim my shaggy beard and dye it before we left. I got out the hair clippers and realised too late that I’d forgotten to check that the guard was on. I ended up mowing a swathe of my beard off.

When Nigel came home, I had him fix it, and the solution was to trim my goatee part much shorter and leave the sides stubbly. This left my chin much whiter than it had been (and much of the stubble is whiter). I couldn’t dye my chin/moustache because the stubble was too short to dye and would look weird.

The photo of the result is at top, though now—four days later—the stubble is turning into re-growth already. I deliberately didn’t smile.

Nigel—and family who expressed an opinion—thought the new look made me look paradoxically younger—and thinner!—and not many of us wouldn’t appreciate that! I know I do. When I went to the family gatherings this weekend, no one ran from the room screaming, so I guess it wasn’t too scary.

I’ve settled on these options (because the face hair is staying): I could re-grow the beard and dye it (I don’t like the full beard unless it’s dyed), as I’ve been doing for years. Or, I could keep Nigel’s repairs (basically a goatee/moustache with stubbly cheeks and natural—no dye). Or, I could modify those repairs (a goatee/moustache without stubbly cheeks, with or without dye).

So, I turn to the Internet for opinions. Because it’s the Internet, however, I’m limiting the options and the replies: The survey will close at Noon on Thursday, August 1 NZST (8pm Wednesday EDT/5pm Pacific) or when/if it receives 100 replies, whichever comes first.

These are just opinions, I’m seeking here—I’ll make the final decision, of course. Yes, this is among the least important questions I’ve ever asked (not that I care about that fact). Mostly, it’s just a bit of fun. Play or not, as you wish.

Here’s the survey:

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

11 comments:

linimalD said...

I think you should keep it like it is in the photo above, although it's entirely up to you of course and you should go with whatever you feel most comfortable with.

I grew a goatee for the first time about a year ago and I've kept it because it's made me feel oddly 'more grown up' and I've noticed a difference in how people treat me ever since, and their different treatment of me definitely preceded my feeling different about myself. People listen to me when I talk now in ways that they didn't before, and blokes give me 'the eyebrow greeting' when I walk past when they never did before. Of course, being more obviously a white male over the age of thirty has something to do with the new respect - that's just a sad consequence of living in our post-colonial, (somewhat) patriarchal society etc etc.

I think I first noticed that facial hair was a status symbol when my friend Matt was president of the student association at my university - I was on the student council too, and saw the way people just deferred to him and accepted his decisions when he wore his fell black bushy beard, and how they took him less seriously without it. It was really noticeable.

Of course, beards are not without their drawbacks - as you say, they tend to go grey as we age, and then we face the dilemma of whether to dye or not. I've considered it myself, but the constant trimming is already more upkeep than I'm totally comfortable with. I may end up ditching it altogether, I dunno. But dying only looks bad, in my humble opinion, when the eyebrows and head hair are not dyed. I have a ginger friend who dies his goatee brown but doesn't do his eyebrows or scalp, and it looks really weird. Personally, I like a bit of grey on a man. But as I said above, whatever you feel comfortable with :D

Arthur (AmeriNZ) said...

Thanks—and great to hear from you! I know exactly what you're saying. Funny you should mention eyebrows because I decided that the minute they started getting grey hairs I'd stop using hair dye, since it's a really bad idea to dye your own eyebrows!). I did dye my hair, too, though, so I matched. :-) My eyebrows aren't grey yet, but I figure it's inevitable, since I now have the odd grey hair on my forearms.

When I was about 22 or 23, I had my first beard, but I didn't notice any real difference in respect back then. But, I was young and unemployed, and that could have had something to do with it.

I'm actually going to be writing a few posts about topics related to this one. Been kicking around in my head for awhile, and this post reminded me of that.

Thanks again!

linimalD said...

Oh, and I just stumbled on THIS, and thought it funny seeing how I'd just read your post earlier: http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-guide-to-the-modern-moustache/?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=Music&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=companion :D

Logan said...

I think you look great in the picture above, Arthur. My main question is...what does Nigel want? He should get first say. :)

Arthur (AmeriNZ) said...

I've seen many of those moustaches—in fact, I dated a few! Well, not the moustaches, of course, but the fellas to whom they were attached… ;-)

Arthur (AmeriNZ) said...

As it happens, I grew the full beard at his request, so it's only fitting that that he created the newest iteration. But, to answer your questions, he's no more sure than I am at this point. It's good to have outside input!

rogerogreen said...

I know that my (quite) gray hair probably makes me look older, and I'm actually (quite) OK with that. That said, I happen to like the current look, but don't have a particularly strong opinion.

Arthur (AmeriNZ) said...

To be honest, I don't really have a strong opinion, either!

AmeriNZ's Sis said...

I like a nicely shaped beard, but not a real long one. I know goatees are in, but I don't care for them. I call it the billygoat look.

As for dying, I can go either way with it. I suppose if one needs to have a certain image for one's job, then adding color may be beneficial.

As for me, I've stopped dying my hair. This is partly because my hair is thinning (and I don't know why) and I don't want to add more stress to the scalp, etc. The other reason is that is became expensive. A shampoo, cut, dye, and blowdry was costing about $82, before the tip. So I've decided to let God hightlight my hair. It's free and I even get compliments! Mom's mom had beautiful white hair. Maybe mine will be one day. Then all I need is a nice (yes, maybe youthful) hairstyle.

So in the end, I guess that color may or may not be a concern, but the shape/style goes along with it.

AmeriNZ's Sis said...

I like a nicely shaped beard, but not a real long one. I know goatees
are in, but I don't care for them. I call it the billygoat look.

As
for dying, I can go either way with it. I suppose if one needs to have
a certain image for one's job, then adding color may be beneficial.

As
for me, I've stopped dying my hair. This is partly because my hair is
thinning (and I don't know why) and I don't want to add more stress to
the scalp, etc. The other reason is that is became expensive. A
shampoo, cut, dye, and blowdry was costing about $82, before the tip.
So I've decided to let God hightlight my hair. It's free and I even get
compliments! Mom's mom had beautiful white hair. Maybe mine will be
one day. Then all I need is a nice (yes, maybe youthful) hairstyle.

So in the end, I guess that color may or may not be a concern, but the shape/style goes along with it.

Arthur (AmeriNZ) said...

LOL, God's highlights! I should use that—it would confuse the hell (so to speak) out of people!