In the time since then, I’ve tried to figure out how to rebuild my life, and while I’m a long way from achieving that, I continue to make progress. My goal is to make sure that that the thing Nigel said over and over in his last days comes true: That I’m okay. Most days and in most ways, I am okay, and I’ve worked pretty hard to get here. I had to: I owed it to both of us.
I miss Nigel like crazy every single day, and there’s still literally nothing I wouldn’t do to get our life together restored. What I’ve learned over this second year without him, though, is that all of that can be true and I can still be okay. The secret is that our love for each other gave me the strength and determination I needed to take this journey.
I guess you could say that after two years on that journey I’m okay and slowly getting “okayier” all the time.
But I absolutely do miss Nigel as much as I ever have. AND I’m okay.
2 comments:
My condolences.
I may leave it at that because there are too many grief cliches that make me gag.
There are also a lot of griever cliches, it turns out. I try to avoid repeating them, but there are only so many different and unique ways to say a thing. I don't care what people say, really, but I think it's important to say what they can, especially when someone is newly bereaved. Heck, even a Facebook "Reaction" helps!
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