26 years ago today

26 years ago today, September 12, 1995, I arrived in New Zealand as a tourist, marking the beginning of the story arc I lived for 24 years—until 2019. Since then, it’s been a changed story arc, but it’s one based on, and a continuation of, what began on this day in 1995. That’s precisely why it still matters.

I’ll be honest: After Nigel died, I wasn’t sure I’d keep acknowledging this date, and I seriously considered make the 25th Anniversary post last year the last one ever. But September is such a crap month for me, even more so now with the death of my beloved boy Jake, that I think something positive within the month is the best I can do to sort of balance things out a little bit. A teeny, tiny, little bit, but still.

I stand behind everything I’ve said in previous years, and I've noticed how often I've repeated something I said back in 2012: “Never underestimate the power of love to make the improbable possible, or to transform the unlikely into an entirely new life.” I still believe that’s sound advice, not in spite of what I’ve been through, but because of it. And yet, there’s more.

In 2013, I posted  about the day on my personal Facebook (an image of that is at the top of last year’s 25th Anniversary post, linked to above and at the bottom of this post), and I quoted that same line from 2012, and added, “I still believe, despite everything, that love always triumphs. Always.” That, too, is a conviction I still have, and, again, it’s because of what I’ve been through.

Today, I wrote on my personal Facebook why this day still has importance:

September 12, then, will always be an important day for me because it was the start of the adventure I’m currently riding, and also because it was the last anniversary of one of our important days that [Nigel and I] were able to share together. Because of what began on September 12, 1995, I’ve always said love is powerful, and that it always wins. I still say that. I now know that love is more powerful than death, too. But damn, I wish I hadn’t learned that lesson.

And that’s why I’m not going to stop talking about this day—not yet, anyway. My tragic experience has taught me far more about the power of love than I could ever even have guessed had I not suffered such a huge loss. It’s the secret to why I’m still here and still moving forward. Damn right I’m going to celebrate it!

So here I am, 26 years after I arrived in New Zealand as a tourist, now completely anchored in this place—and whatever my life will become. This is now me, my story, my place in the world. I can’t change the horrible thing that happened two years ago, but I would never give up the 24 years before that horrible day, because it’s all part of of the core of who I now am. And the date that really started it all was September 12, 1995, 26 years ago today. There had to be one good thing about this month.

Previous posts about this anniversary (the first three only mention it):

Anniversay Time (2007)
Blogoversary 2 (2008)
Anniversaries Three and Fourteen (2009)
Where it began (2010)
Anniversary of the beginning (2011)
Another anniversary (2012)
18 years ago today (2013)
19 years ago today (2014)
Twenty years ago today (2015)
21 years ago today (2016)
22 years ago today (2017)
23 years ago today (2018)
24 years ago today (2019)
25 years ago today (2020)