Thursday, February 04, 2021

I’m getting good at this grief thing

I’m actually being serious about this: I really am getting good at this grief thing. I’ve learned so much about how all this works, like, for example, that it’s important to just feel whatever it is I’m feeling, and to give myself space to do that. I know there will be times that tears unexpectedly overwhelm me, and also that those times will become fewer as the process moves forward. None of the stuff I’ve learned makes this process any easier, of course, but, for me, it makes it at least a bit more comprehensible, which does help.

Grief can be a brutal and demanding master, controlling our thoughts, and so, actions, so much so that we often feel powerless under its rule. But I’ve learned that master’s grip gets weaker over time. At first it only gives us the illusion that it’s weaker before it roars back in, reasserting control. Ultimately, we do get back more control of our lives. Or, so I presume: I don’t yet know that for certain.

I truly understand now that life and everything in it is only temporary, but there’s power in that: If we understand and live our lives aware it’s all temporary, we’re more likely to seize every day as best we can. Hopefully, anyway.

At any rate, that’s the secret to how I can stay strong and endure all this pain so I can try to push forward when I can: I’m getting good at this grief thing.


Roger Owen Green said...

Unfortunately, a useful skill set.

Arthur Schenck said...

It definitely is. But I’d rather not have any more practice for awhile.