Major kitchen failure

Not everything will go smoothly when we try to make major dietary changes, especially when that means going into unfamiliar territory. This could mean trying to make foods from another country or culture’s cuisine when we’re not from there or didn’t grow up with it, but it can also mean changes within one’s own cuisine, such as, adding vegetarian and vegan dishes to an otherwise omnivorous diet. Last night I had a major failure.

Back in February, I had what I called “A kitchen failure”, which was really about “user error”: I was unfamiliar with the product and used it incorrectly. Contrast that with the unqualified success I’ve had since I started using a meat-substitute product called “Minced”.

And then came last night.

Well, before that, it’s necessary to back up a bit further. A couple months ago, I ordered-in groceries and put Minced on the list, however, Countdown was out of it (only a few locaitons carry it, apparently) and substituted a mince substitute a product called Quorn. We made nachos using taco spice mix from Old El Paso, a product we used in the past with actual beef mince. The result was disappointing: Very weak flavour compared with beef. Still, the texture was good.

Last week I used it again in a Bolognese sauce, and it wasn’t nearly as nice as when I make it with Minced. Again, the product seems to suck-up or neutralise the flavours.

So, last night I tried making nachos with it again, this time with a New Zealand-made nacho spice from Farrah’s. It said “Mild” on the label, but I hoped it might be a bit stronger. It turned out to be not mild, nor medium, but hot, possibly because it has two types of chili in it, and that turned out to be too much. It was very unpleasant, and the Quorn was still tasteless.

But as unpleasant as that was, the worst was yet to come.

About an hour or so after I finished, I started feeling extremely unwell. This kept getting worse until I went to the toilet, leaned over and dry heaved, with all of my abdominal muscles, my diaphragm, and every other related muscle contracting violently. This was repeated twice more, and the last time, when the last of my dinner was finally gone, the sick feeling ended (though the sore abdomen lasted into today).

How could did this happen? I’d had Quorn twice before with no issues, so my first guess was that it was the spice mix, and there was some logic to this: It was a very hot mix, and so, had a lot of chili. The active ingredient in chili is Capsaicin, and too much of that “can produce nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain”, all of which I’d experienced. The problem is, it usually takes “large amounts” for that to happen, and while I definitely think the product had “large amounts” of chili, it’s doubtful that it actually did.

Which makes Quorn the suspect again. It’s made from mycoprotein, which is a form of fungus/mould. It can produce mycotoxin, which can produce allergic reactions including “abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting”. Again, that’s what I experienced.

Quorn insists reactions are extremely rare, and they apparently use varieties of mycoprotein that don’t produce mycotoxins, and that’s no doubt true—but does that mean it’s impossible? I don’t know.

So, the possible culprits are the chili in the spice mix, the mycoprotein in the Quorn product, or the combination. For all I know, maybe it was because I had the Quorn product once each in two consecutive weeks. All I know for certain is that my reaction had a sudden onset within an hour or so of dinner, and it ended as soon as my dinner was, um, evacuated. Clearly it was the dinner that made me sick, especially since I’ve been fine all day today.

So, I chalk this up as an epic failure, and the last time I’ll ever buy a Quorn product. Even if it was a fluke, it can’t be proven that it was, nor can it be proven whether or not my reaction was directly related to the product. Because there’s so much uncertainty, there’s no way I’ll risk that happening again, especially when I didn’t even like it all that much.

So, my beef mince substitute will remain, for now, Minced or nothing, even while other—much more cautious—experiments will continue. Once bitten, twice shy, and all that. No more mycoprotein for me, and extra-careful label reading will be my new norm.

And, I’ll be sure to check “no substitutes” whenever I place an online order for Minced from Countdown.

The products listed and their names are all registered trademarks, and are used here for purposes of description and clarity. No person, company, or entity provided any support or payment for this blog post, and all products were purchased by me at normal retail prices. So, the opinions I expressed are my own genuinely held opinions, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the manufacturers, any retailer, or any known human being, alive or dead, real or corporate. Just so we’re clear.