Twelve years married

Today is another anniversary of the date Nigel and I were finally legally married, on October 31, 2013, and it’s the seventh that Nigel didn’t get to celebrate. We picked that date because it was the closest we could get to the date we always thought of as our anniversary, November 2. The fact that our original anniversary and our wedding anniversary were just two days apart means that now I spend several days thinking about—well, everything. It’s also a time that’s often both sad and happy for me: Sad for what’s gone and what could’ve been, and happy for what we did have together.

Every year since Nigel died I’ve had mixed feelings about these few days, but each year I’ve also focused on what I need to do for daily life, or maybe even what I what to do for my future. Because of all that, it’d be surprising if I didn’t have mixed feelings.

This year, the weather today was beautiful—stunning, even—and I used it to start some of my outside chores. It turned out to be a nice way to focus mostly on getting some things done. Tomorrow and Sunday are also predicted to be beautiful, sunny days, too, which should help me get more done, despite every reason to not do so.

The events of twelve years ago today (and November 2) are both the reason I still struggle, and also the reason I nevertheless persevere and progress. Like I said: Both happy and sad.

I was forever changed by my life with Nigel, and that I got to marry him, and because of him and our life, I’m still changing. That’s reason enough to always remember and treasure this anniverary.

Happy Anniversary, sweetheart. I love you. Always.

Previously
Eleven years married (2024)
Ten years married (2023)
Nine years married (2022)
Eight years married (2021)
It’s still seven years married (2020)
Mixed feelings day (2019)
Fifth Anniversary (2018)
Fourth Anniversary (2017)
Third Anniversary (2016)
Second Anniversary (2015)
Still married (2014)

Related
To be married
Husband and husband
Just one more