My Dad would be 109

This week had my father’s109th Birthday. I remembered to blog about it, even thought I didn’t have time to follow through, only because I decided to get organised: Almost a year ago, I wrote a post in which I talked about setting up a list of certain posts I wanted to be sure to write and publish. When I set up this year’s list, this post was on that list.

Life has been unusual for quite awhile now, and I continue to fins it difficult to find the time to actually get blog posts and podcast episodes done. Nevertheless, I’m getting to this in my dad’s birthday week, which right now, is a huge win.

I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot lately, because of what I’m going through now, a few years older than he ever managed to reach. I’ve talked about how my single biggest challenge emotionally and existentially about aging is that I have NO idea what to expect. My Mom and Dad both died younger than I am now, so I don’t know how they would’ve been as they aged.

My father’s siblings all lived to be old, though with the health problems of old age, and my grandfather was a nonagenarian. My mother’s parents died relatively young, but her uncle had good innings. So, because I have few examples to turn to, I don’t know if I’ll have mobility problems, cognitive decline, or any of the other things I worry about.

Which brings me back to my Dad. I remember when he was in his 50s how he couldn’t walk far at all. There were a lot of reasons for that, but he was certainly unfit, too. Over my life, I’ve seen several older people slowly decline, and watching them made me wonder how avoidable (generally speaking) loss of mobility and flexibility is.

All of that made me realise that I have some agency here: If I get fitter now, it’s bound to at least help me as I age, and maybe age-related decline might not be too bad. At the very least, it will probably (?) improve the quality of my life now because I’ll be better able to do physical things better.

As I said in my blog post about my walking, I already find it easier to get up off the floor, and even my knees seem more reliable. So, yay, I guess. And, in a roundabout kind of way, my Dad was one of my main inspirations.

Still, I often wonder what my Dad would’ve been like in old age, though I know he’d almost definitely be gone now regardless, and his too-early death left me with no example to look to in order to guess what my own old age might be like. However, there’s also everything that came before his death that’s helped build the foundation on which modern me is still being built, and that’s an important thing. As I said in my 2021 post about my Dad’s birthday:

Mainly, though, I’m grateful for the base he and my mother gave me, the framework to build the me I would eventually become. I get some of the credit for that, of course, as do other family and my friends (and, again, especially Nigel…), but the fact remains that he and my mother laid the foundation on which I would one day build me. Open eyed, aware, and certain that I may be, I nevertheless acknowledge where I come from, and my Dad was an important part of that.

All of which remains true, but it would be handy to have an inkling of what I might be facing over the next 20 years (or so?) years I may have left.

Nevertheless, as always, thanks, Dad. And Happy Birthday!

Previously:
My Dad would be 108 (2024)
My Dad would be 105 (2021)
My dad would be 100 (2016)

Related:
Sunday Quiet (2009) – What Sundays were like when I was a kid
Like father, like son (2009) – A reflective post about sons imitating their dads and the freedom my dad gave me
Easter (2009) – Where I talk about my dad’s stage management
Good Friday Flashback (2011) – More about his stage management, with a photo
Arthur Answers Again, Part Two – Religion questions (2013) – I talk about being a preacher’s kid
AAA-14 Answer 7 – Loss and memes (2014) – I talk about the death of my parents
New Year’s Eve 2014 – In which I talk about one of my favourite memories of my dad