Left off the map. Yet again.

A very serious international incident occurred today. Sure, it won’t lead to global war, or even sanctions or whatever, but it’s still very, very serious: New Zealand was left off a world map at the Olympics closing ceremony. After the most successful Olympic Games New Zealand has ever had, literally everyone in New Zealand is asking, “How many medals does New Zealand have to win to be included on the map?!”

Okay, so not everyone is talking about this faux pas, but that may be only because we’re used to it: New Zealand is frequently left off world maps. The video up top is from the 100% Pure New Zealand YouTube Channel, a project of and New Zealand Tourism, and it features all sorts of videos promoting tourism in New Zealand. This video features NZ comedian Rhys Darby (who is probably best known for playing Murray Hewitt, the band manager of Flight of the Conchords in the television series of the same name as he tries to find out who’s behind the “conspiracy” to leave New Zealand off of maps. Also in the video is Jacinda Ardern, who was NZ Prime Minister at the time.

The video was released in May, 2018, which may explain why I never shared it here on the blog: That was the month that Leo came to live with us, so my focus was elsewhere. Insteadt, I only shared it on Facebook, writing:

This is joking, BUT it’s something every New Zealander has noticed. First time I noticed it was nearly 20 years ago. We were visiting Universal Studios in California, and, yep, New Zealand was missing from the big globe.

On the other hand, I’ve read that New Zealanders have a superhuman ability to spot the letter “Z” within a full page of printed text without even trying. I’m certain there are studies proving this, but none by American researchers. They keep pronouncing it “zee” so they miss the proof entirely.

I thought that there was a photo of Nigel and me in front of the globe pointing to where New Zealand should be, but I I looked through the album, and don’t have a photo like that. It might be in the video Nigel shot, but I’m not certain where that is, and, anyway, it’s never been digitised and that may not even be viewable anymore: It was shot 25 years ago. To get the general idea, though, here’s a photo Nigel’s cousin took of us in front of the globe (I don’t think I was pointing, or whatever—she probably snapped the photo before I was totally ready). Australia is just above me at the top of the photo—but there’s no New Zealand!

So, New Zealand missing from a world map isn’t really an international incident, though the incident will likely inspire Kiwis’ to use their legendary sarcastic humour to mock the perpetrators, and that may be a bit too pointed for French sensibilities to hear—sacré bleu!—so maybe the international incident is still to come?

All joking aside, it would be nice if various folks stopped leaving New Zealand off the map. Many foreigners have trouble remembering where on the globe the country is, and leaving us off the map doesn’t help. Wait a minute: If we’re left off of maps, maybe the bad people in the world who might start a global war won’t know where we are so they won’t attack us. Hm…

On second thought, never mind.