This also means it’s just a bit more than six months until what would have been the tenth anniversary of when Nigel and I were married, what we both called the happiest day of our lives. We passed the 14th anniversary of our civil union back in January, the day we called that the second-happiest day of our lives, largely because, at the time, being able to legally marry was something neither of us expected would ever become reality—until it did. After that, marriage upped the ante of the happiness stakes. Ten years ago last night, the NZ Parliament made it possible for Nigel and me to be able to fulfill a dream.
I think about all that, of course, though not necessarily often or in depth—but I do think about it. I think, first, about how lucky I was to be able to marry my soulmate, which isn’t a gift given to everyone. Our “married life” was far too short, and it only a fraction of our time together.
I also think about what being ABLE to be married meant to me, something I talked about the night it was passed by Parliament in a post I titled, aptly, “Becoming real”, which, I think, is one of the best things I’ve ever published on this blog. Since then, I’ve often talked about how much it meant to me that marriage equality gave us the ability to take on the same commitment and obligations that any heterosexual could do without question. I finally felt part of society in a way I never had before.
I still believe in the power of love and, for those who choose it, marriage. What I argued for all those years ago was once simple word: Options. All adults ought to have the same legal options, and ten years ago the New Zealand Parliament agreed. It was a momentous day.
2 comments:
This is a really good thing, marriage equality, individually for you, of course. But for the broader society, all the victories are such so important... I know I'm preaching to the choir...
I guess that being in the US, I always fear things that we had grown to accept are being chiseled away, and it gives me a sense of dis-ease.
I totally get that. While here in New Zealand the issue is completely over (even though some rightwing National Party candidates STILL oppose it), the USA never seems to be over any issue, ever. Republican politicians desperately want to end marriage equality and to send LGBT people back into the shadows, and all their extremist actions so far merely underscore that—especially their war against trans people, which is textbook divide and conquer stuff. I fully expect that within the next few years the radical Republicans controlling the "Supreme" Court will overturn Obergefell and usher in the era of states outlawing marriage equality, just as they worked to outlaw all abortions, with no exceptions whatsoever. They will get their way completely without massive voter turnout to vote every single Republican out of office, and that ain't gonna happen.
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