}

Friday, April 14, 2023

Did our pact endure?

I have a lot of very odd anniversaries, each its own marker of the progress of my life. Most are days when something happened—most, but not all. Twenty-three years ago day, Nigel and I made a pact with a friend of ours, one that none of us completed by the “due date”. I’m now the only one left who might still fulfill the pact we made, however late it may be. That one fact outweighs everything else about the pact.

On Friday, April 14, 2000—twenty-three years ago to the very day—Nigel and I were carpooling home with a friend of ours, Sandra, and we decided to stop and pick up some Indian takeaways. There was a wait, so we just chatted while the food was cooked (we may have stopped for a drink at a nearby pub, something I know we did at least once). Somehow or other we got on the topic of goals, and we all talked about wanting to write a book.

That evening, all three of us agreed that by April 14, 2010 we had to have a book written and ready to publish. I added the anniversary to my calendar, noting that the book “doesn't have to actually be published, it just has to be ready.” None of us achieved that.

Nigel originally met Sandra because they worked together, and we all became friends for a lot of reasons, especially our mutual love of Star Trek and science fiction generally. For a time, Nigel used to rent the latest episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and also Star Trek: Voyager—on video cassette (!), no less. There was a video store in the Ponsonby area of Auckland that imported the cassettes from the USA, and they arrived not long after they aired in the USA, but long before they aired in New Zealand.

However, those cassettes weren’t officially released in New Zealand, and the rights-holder (Paramount) maintained an iron grip on release schedules. They demanded that the NZ government outlaw the importation for sale or rental of movies or TV programmes until after they’d been officially released in New Zealand. The government acquiesced (not for the last time), and our “Star Trek Nights” ended.

Sandra bought a house in the same area where we lived at the time, and we carpooled to and from the Auckland CBD together for quite some time (her cat and our cat became best friends, and often napped together on our roof). In 2003, Nigel and I moved to Paeroa, and we returned to Auckland in 2006. Over time, we all had job and life changes, and had less to do with each other. Still, we went to Sandra’s wedding, and she and her husband came to our 2009 Civil Union ceremony (we got married in 2013, only four family members present).

Sandra was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, and it claimed her the year before Nigel died from cancer. I don’t know whether Sandra ever started her book, but I know that Nigel at least started making some notes, though I don’t know what he did with them—I haven’t found anything yet. All I know for certain is that I started several books over those years, and finished none of them.

Every year at this time I’m reminded of the pact because the calendar alert pops up on my devices. I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one of us who remembered (because of all those life changes). For many years those reminders weren’t that big a deal, but after Sandra died, the calendar alert made me sad, and that was ramped up to a whole new level after Nigel died. This year, though, with another year’s time and distance, I looked at the actual calendar item and was reminded that the pact was made on a Friday—and I’ve made pretty clear that I like symmetry and alignment of anniversaries. That would be reason enough for me to talk about the pact for the first time.

So, it’s now Friday, April 14, 2023, twenty-three years to the very day after three friends made a somewhat light-hearted pact to write a book, and I’m the only one of us left who might, theoretically, still manage it. That reality weighs heavily on me. To be bluntly honest, right now the possibility I might actually fulfill our mutual promise seems more distant than ever.

I have a lot of very odd anniversaries, each its own marker of the progress of my life. Twenty-three years ago day, Nigel and I made what was a mostly light-hearted pact with a dear friend of ours, and I’m now the only one left who might still honour the promise. That one fact outweighs everything else about the pact. That part’s not odd at all.

7 comments:

Roger Owen Green said...

I know I will NEVER write a book unless I offload other things. Two things, in particular, have taken inordinate amounts of time, me fraudulently receiving an iPhone from Spectrum and planning for a trip with so many twists and turns I better start writing it down.

So Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday were wall to wall, and Wednesday was pretty busy. I wrote two blog posts this week so far, with me depending on previously stored pieces. And the ones I did write I started at 11 pm, a suboptimal time. I have content, just no time. My DVR is 70% full all the time.

So next year, I need to offload the library volunteer stuff, which is the biggest controllable timesuck. I want to travel. I want to do genealogy. I need to do a Wikipedia page for a late friend, with info I gathered about five years ago.

Oh, and my office and my side of the bedroom are bot disasters, worse than I can stand.

And if there is a book,, it'll probably be about my father.

Roger Owen Green said...

Bless me, father, for I have overbooked.

Anonymous said...

How about "The Best of Amerinz?" Or "Where I Would Rather Be" You have a fascinating perspective about the differences of the two countries.

Roger Owen Green said...

Actually, you could look through your posts. Just the linguistic stuff. Some are obvious, some not.
Takeaway for takeout
The till - checkout counter (?) cash register(?)
post my ballot - mail my ballot
"Doing it a bit tougher."
bottle shop - liquor store
etc

You don't need to write a glossary - imagine how that exists. More interesting is how they've been so incorporated that your Americanisms have declined. Certainly, something about First Past the Post elections and when the seasons begin. Basically, the Kiwiation of Arthur. And as Anonymous said, a lot of it is extant.

Roger Owen Green said...

Or the Kiwiazation of the AmeriNZ

Arthur Schenck said...

Thanks for all the comments. I have plenty of ideas, and various "works in progress", but it's definitely a case of the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Still, as things move forward into my new reality, there's far more realistic chance it might actually happen.

I was interested in the references to this blog, which has long been my primary writing space. At one point I thought about taking the various posts that, in my humble opinion, are my best ones, and publish them in a free ebook. I actually wanted to do that mainly because I wanted to learn how to make ebooks (pretty much the only work in publishing I've never done), and the content would be free and royalty free for me, so it was logical. I may still do that, or not. But I no longer feel the immense pressure I used to, and that's a positive thing.

d said...

I think you have a natural book just about this story itself - three friends, coming up with an idea, and everything that happens afterwards: your life with Nigel, Sandra's diagnosis, the loss of Nigel..and you completing this task on your own with the lessons you have learned from all of this, while keeping them in your mind (and heart).