I had myself a merry little Christmas

Christmas Day 2020 was a good one for me. They always have been, even in 2019, the first one after Nigel died. Since Nigel and I didn’t have special things we did for Christmas, apart from spending it with family, I really had nothing to miss on Christmas Day—apart from Nigel, obviously, but I miss him every single day, holiday or not.

Last year, I didn’t know what to expect, but I think it was the lack of any traditions with Nigel that made it much easier for me than I thought it could be, but it ended up being roughly what I expected. However, even then I didn’t realise how lucky I was to not have traditions. I’ve seen an extraordinary amount of deep pain expressed on the Facebook group pages for gay widows/widowers I’m part of. It’s been heart-wrenching, and it’s left me thankful, if that’s the right word, for being in a better position than I could have been in.

Because last year was fine, I knew this year’s Christmas Day would be okay for me. too, and my belief was reinforced by the good day I had on Christmas Eve. I had some family around to my house for lunch, and the day was all over before six, with the sun still shining. I even had nearly all the dishes done before the evening got too late.

The photo up top is of me at the end of Christmas Day. My caption on the Instagram/Facebook post was “End of another Christmas Day. It was a really good day for me—hope it was for all of you, too.” But I added another story for that photo in a comment on my personal Facebook:

This selfie was right after I took my last Christmas Day guest (my mother-in-law) back to her home. It was a long day, and a very, very good one. Also, this is my first alcohol in some 19 months. And behold, it was good.

I’d actually had my first glass at lunchtime, and, part from not remembering how to pour bubbles and having it overflow the glass, it was fine. No affects, but, then, most of the day I drank my 0.0% alcohol beer, so that probably makes sense. I decided to have another glass once I got back home as I relaxed for the evening. I had been worried (a little bit) that since it had been so long, the alcohol might go straight to my head. Since it didn’t earlier, I knew another glass would be fine.

To make sure I’d have enough room in the fridge, I used the little beer fridge Nigel and I almost never used. That was very handy. The photo at the bottom of this post is of the pavlova we were supposed to have for dessert, but forgot all about. As I said in the Instagram/Facebook post:

The one Christmas non-casualty casualty: My brother- and sister-in-law brought pavlova for today, and my S-I-L dressed it, only for us all to forget about it! Now I have to finish the pav all by myself. The sacrifices I make, I tell ya, I’m a bleedin’ saint! Especially because I also forgot about the chocolate fudge I made and now I have to eat it all. A saint, I am.

I realised all this when I was clearing out the beer fridge to turn it off. It was a bit of an “oops” moment when I found them. I managed to have some of the pav last night and more today, but the truth is that most of it will end up going down the waste disposer because whipped cream doesn’t keep very long. The fudge, on the other hand, will last for as long as it takes me to get through it, something I can safely say because I know it won’t last very long (I also moved that from the beer fridge to the main fridge).

So, the day was a pretty good one, and even the weather cooperated: Sunny, but not hot (just right, in my opinion). I guess I was lucky in many ways. And merry.

The forgotten pavlova.