Slow and steady

There have been a lot of things going on quietly behind the scenes since my last note on Friday. Fortunately, it’s also been mostly good since then.

After a bad day on Friday, the rest of the weekend was okay. I finished this month’s work project on time—actually, slightly earlier than last month. So, all things considered, it turned out okay in the end, despite everything.

On Tuesday (yesterday), I met with the people who have handled our home loans and insurance, and without getting into the boring details, one thing is important: When the dust settles, they said I’ll be in really good shape, and that was particularly good news because the one thing that Nigel cared about at the end of his life was that I’d be okay, and I will be.

That underscored for me the importance of being prepared for the worst-case scenario. They also said one particular thing that resonated with me. Talking about retirement, one of them said, “do the fun stuff first”. His point was that too many people retire and scrimp and save and plan to do stuff, like travel, sometime later—and then they run out of time and either become sick or die.

What Nigel’s death has driven home for me is the importance of living each day as if it’s our last because sooner or later, we’ll be right. Nigel and I always talked about visiting Hawaii, and I thought it could be a good thing to do for our 25th anniversary next year. We never made it there, and never had a chance to plan for our 25th. So I’ve learned to try to not put things off, though I’m still under my current motto, “what I can, when I can” (I have to settle everything first).

At the moment, I’m planning a “working bee” for the Labour Day holiday weekend (end of October) to get the house ready to go on the market (the section—yard—is overgrown with lots of weeds…). After our real estate is sold and some other details are sorted, I’ll buy in Hamilton. However, I’m in no hurry, but, rather, moving according to a plan that will take as long as it takes to complete. It could be as late as the end of summer or even autumn before I move to Hamilton (Autumn starts March 1), because most of this is out of my control, and I’m fine with that.

Having said that, I expect that I’ll be spending a lot of time in Hamilton (with the dogs…) once the house is on the market because then I won’t have to spend so much time keeping everything tidy in case there’s a viewing (anyone with dogs knows what a challenge that can be).

However, there’s another reality here: I don’t like being in this house by myself. If I could have, I’d have moved to Hamilton already, but that was never possible. So, instead, I focus on what I can do, even if it’s simply planning the way forward.

As I’ve said, there are good parts of bad days, and bad parts of good days. That’s as true now as ever. I find myself crying unexpectedly, sometimes only briefly, other times enough to make my stomach muscles hurt. I know that won’t change for quite some time, but if I keep working on what I can control, everything will slowly move forward.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Originally published on my personal Facebook Page on October 16.