The missing clown

Oops. I missed mentioning the 17th and—we all fervently hope—final clown to climb aboard the Republican presidential campaign bus, James Stuart "Jim" Gilmore III. In reality, I didn’t really miss anything, nor did anyone else, and he’ll be gone soon, anyway.

I read the announcement that he was filing papers, but I’ve always waited for the actual announcement. In this case, that was apparently made on an extreme rightwing site that still bears the name of its dead founder. No wonder I missed that.

I was also busy with work and that thing called “real life” at the time, and that was far more important than yet another “WHO?” announcing a political campaign he’ll never succeed at. So, even if I hadn’t been so busy, I might have ignored him, anyway.

Actually, why should I have bothered about him? He’s just another radical right fundamentalist Christian—as if there weren’t already enough of them running for the Republican nomination, right? A Roman Catholic news amalgamation website said in their headline to their post about him that he’s a “staunch supporter of ‘Christian values’”, and it’s hard to argue that assessment, given the evidence presented in the post they shared. Clearly, he’s a dime a dozen among Republican clowns candidates.

This means, of course, that he opposes a woman’s right to choose (Duh! He’s a Republican—it’s a requirement!), and, as The Advocate reported, he hasn’t repudiated his staunchly anti-gay record. Pretty ordinary in that respect, too, then.

His campaign has not yet fired even one cylinder, as he hasn’t even managed to snag an invite to CNN’s televised “debate” of Republican clowns candidates—the only one that failed to do so.

Still, because he did enter the race, let’s play our little game. Gilmore is 65, an age that puts him in the older bunch of the Republican clowns candidates. Because of when his birthday falls, on Inauguration Day he’ll be 67 years, 107 days old. The oldest US President, Ronald Reagan, Hallowed be his Name, was 69 years, 349 days when he was sworn in.

Gilmore may not be the first Republican clown candidate to drop out—both Rick Perry and Rick Santorum have been shedding staff as money dries up—but I’m pretty certain he’ll be gone before the first votes are cast.

There, my job is done. I mentioned him. That’s more than enough—far more than enough. There are real Republican clowns candidates to pay attention to, after all.