Today I went and collected Curzon's ashes. The woman at the vet—the same place I took Saibh when she died—said to me that we were bound to have some good things happen because our karma was unbalanced, so we must be in line for some good things to happen. That would be nice.
But as I left there I was...okay. I mean that literally. I'd dreaded it because I thought I'd lose it on the way home, as I did when I collected Saibh's ashes. But, while I was sad and a little teary, I was fine.
I think that the fact that Curzon was sick for awhile and deteriorated meant that not only did we have time to prepare, but also when the end came it was a kind of a relief, a release for us, too. Anyone who's seen a loved one deteriorate and die will probably know what I mean.
All I know is that despite everything, I was okay. That's a good thing in itself.
The only trouble is that last week I fell far behind in my work and it took me until around 2am yesterday to finish up. So, I'm off to bed early tonight so I can get more done tomorrow than I did today. That's okay, too.
1 comment:
I would have to agree with you regarding your cat and how although I know you miss him terribly at least you were able to spend some time with him before you had to what you had to do.
I didn't have that luxury and came home to see my cat not doing well and had to rush him to the vet hoping for the best and being told there was nothing they could do. The only good thing during this tough time was that Joe was there for me the entire time just as NIgel is for you.
We are blessed in many ways that we sometimes forget just how lucky we really are.
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