This morning she went spare, as she often did, when another dog appeared in the park next to our house. I went to her to bring her inside, as I often did. She looked at me, then back at the fence barking all the while, turned slightly, raised her head and then stumbled a bit as I got to her. I picked her up as she went limp. She died in my arms.
I tried to revive her, hoping she’d only fainted, but I knew better. I rushed her to the vet, breaking speed limits by enough, probably, to threaten my licence. It was too late.
Nigel met me at the vet, and they gave us several minutes alone with her to say goodbye. She looked like she was sleeping and would wake up at any minute. She didn’t wake up.
We’re at a loss. The house seems so quiet, so empty. The cat can’t figure out what’s happened, of course. He’s lucky, but he’ll miss her, too, once he realises she’s not coming back.
There are people who think that devotion to a pet—a companion animal—is silly or worse. Fuck them. This dog meant the world to us, and our world got a little bit smaller today.
Goodbye, Saibh. We’ll miss you.
There won’t be any podcast and probably no blog posts until next week sometime when I feel a bit better.
Update 19 May: We've had some wonderful words of sympathy here and by email. Thank you to you all—your words mean a lot to us. Special thanks to my friend Jason who put up a great blog post about Saibh, sharing some of his own memories. At times like this, I love the Internet.