Sometimes, it’s not the eggs

Over the past few years, I’ve shared a few photos both  here and on social media (especially the latter) of meals I’ve made, like the photo above of my poached eggs this morning. For no particular reason, I rarely share such photos now, but I realised recently that’s probably a mistake. These days especially, it’s seldom about the eggs.

I’ve done cooking experiments of one sort or another for decades, but especially in the last ten years—and even more frequently beginning with the first Covid lockdown. Those experiments were a way to beat the boredom of lockdowns, but I also I thought it was an interesting and creative thing to do.

Time moved on, and my enthusiasm waned a bit, particularly during challenging times, and I found myself focusing on very specific things, like consistently making good poached eggs (because sometimes it is about the eggs…). And yet, the experiments continued.

Today’s eggs were perfect, as they usually are, so I feel I’ve now pretty much mastered making them—as long as I pay attention to what I’m doing, because a wandering mind is a ruinous thing. Getting things right—even a meal—feels really good, and while I could joke about the “dopamine hit” this activity actually really does help: Accomplishing a goal, especially one that results in good food, can absolutely increase dopamine levels in our blood.

When times feel bleak, as they have for me off and on over the past 18 months or so, succeeding at a small task—even a very small task, like making eggs—often ends up being the biggest help. It’s actually the main reason I talk about celebrating “small victories”: They matter.

I think it’s deeply embedded in human nature to not see what’s positive and to instead focus on worries, dreads, and possible dangers. I think we all do that, at least sometimes, and I certainly do it, too. It’s like ignoring the beautiful sunny tropical ocean beach we’re standing on because off at the distant horizon we see dark clouds and storms. We ignore what’s right in front of us and instead worry that the far-off storm may turn and hurl itself right at us, even though it may never do that.

When times are especially rough, we’re more likely to have this happen, even repeatedly. This is why celebrating small victories is so important: Making a point of focusing on good, positive things can help break the miasma of negativity, maybe not at first, and maybe not individually, but the benefits of celebrating positive things, especially repeatedly, makes it easier to break the negativity loop.

This has been on my mind a lot lately, not the least because I wanted natural, non-pharmaceutical approaches to help me cope better with the occasional rough times I was experiencing, and I pretty much managed that. My daily walking routine helped, and so does spending time with family or friends, and, maybe especially, playing with Leo. But celebrating small victories, especially repeatedly, has definitely played an important part.

I first realised this when I was a young boy, though not for this purpose. I used to write “to do” lists for projects (some things have never changed…), most memorably for tidying my bedroom. I realised that instead of writing “tidy bedroom”, it worked better to write small tasks, like, “clean top of dresser”, or for a bookcase I might even put tidying each shelf as a separate task. Then, as I checked off each completed task, I got lots of check marks on the list, and that, in turn, encouraged me to keep going to check more tasks off the list until the whole thing was done. Without knowing it, I was celebrating small victories over and over until they led to an even bigger accomplishment, the completion of the whole job.

Many (many…) decades later, the lessons I learned in childhood still matter, and so does celebrating small victories. I don’t always succeed in doing that, but sometimes I do, and that makes the difference.

Which brings me back to those eggs this morning. I took the photo, something I often do simply for practice alone, which is why I don't share them. I began to think that such photos were too shallow, which figures since I’ve backed away from posting much of anything on social media. That’s where the mistake is.

Because of all the things I said earlier—especially about celebrating small victories—me not sharing this photo (or the many others) means I was not celebrating small victories, and that was a mistake. To be clear, it's not important that I have a small victory, however, plenty of other people are looking for reasons to be hopeful, and me hiding mine under a bushel does no service to them—or me, actually.

Sometimes, it’s not about the eggs, and sometimes it is, and it’s really not up to me to determine which it is. This is about more than photos of food, it’s about giving hope and an example to others when we can, yes, but it mostly means celebrating the small victories we get. Today I had one, and it was about eggs. Tomorrow? No idea.