Another friend is gone

This morning when I checked Facebook I learned that Tom, a friend I met through podcasting back when I first started, had died during the night my time, while I was asleep. That sort of thing has happened many times over the years, but this time I knew it was coming because we’d been told his cancer journey was nearing its end—but knowing that a loss is coming never makes it any easier, of course.

I met Tom through podcasting, and listened to his podcast, “Ramble Redhead”, that featured interviews of folks who were part of or connected to the LGBTQ+ community. In 2007 he asked to interview me after I started my podcast for that reason (surprisingly, moving to the other side of the globe for love isn’t all that common…). His was the second podcast I was on, after Paul Armstrong’s ArcherRadio. We lost Paul last year.

Tom was also the first podcaster I met in real life, way back in December 2007 when I was in Chicago to tie up a few loose ends. Tom and his partner at the time drove from Indiana to the far Northside of Chicago, where I was staying, so we could meet, have lunch, and hang out. It was an awesome—and unbelievably cold—day. The photo was taken on Northalsted across from the LGBT+ community centre that didn’t exist the last time I’d been in Chicago.

After that, we were often both on Paul’s ArcherRadio group shows, and frequently caught up online, especially on Facebook. He and I were also part of the Pride 48 Network of LGBT and LGBT-friendly podcasts, and we both participated in the live streaming events. Nigel and I always hoped to attend the in-person streaming events, but never got the chance, and so, Nigel never got the chance to meet Tom in real life. However, when I was in Chicago in 2007, we rang Nigel so Tom could say hello, and he spoke with Nigel like they were old friends, even though they’d never spoken before. That was just Tom. A few years later, they were both on shows with me (my own live shows, I think? It was a long time ago…).

Tom was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, radiating positivity and support for others. As the years passed, we didn’t chat online as much as we once did, but even so I could tell how happy he was when he met and married his husband, Roger. Just as I understood what Tom was feeling then, I also understand what Roger will be going through now, and that, too, breaks my heart.

Tom was loved and admired by so many people, especially in the Pride 48 family. He used to end his podcast episodes by saying, “Just remember, a crazy redhead in Indiana loves you.” For so very many people, it was definitely mutual.

Farewell, my friend.

The photo up top is from a January 2008 blog post about my trip to the USA I mentioned above. This post is a revised version of what I posted to my personal Facebook page.