Forced words

I haven’t felt like blogging at all this month. This wasn’t because of lack of time or energy—not specifically, anyway. Instead, I just didn’t feel like it, and not for the first time, of course. It’s almost certainly not the last time, either. As I so often say these days, it is what it is.

Over the years, there have been times I didn’t blog because of lack of time, because of lack of energy, or because of other big obstacles. Increasingly, however, I go through periods in which I just don’t want to sit at my computer and write posts, and so I don’t.

Awhile back, I realised how few people actually read my posts, and that made me begin to feel that I was mainly talking to myself. That’s something I do in real life, too—the subject of a blog post I started and never finished. There are, in fact, a large number of posts that are somewhere along my metaphorical assembly line, ranging from merely a title through to nearly ready to publish. I talked a bit about that last month, focusing on what was the specific barrier at that time.

In the time since then, a lot has happened, things I definitely wanted to talk about, but I just didn’t. Which isn’t to say I didn’t make any effort: The assembly of many of those unpublished posts began this month, but they haven’t made it any further.

So, here I am on February 22, with seven days, including today, left in the month. Obviously, the only logical solution is to publish four posts a day to achieve my goal of an average of one post per day. I’m joking, of course: I gave up on that goal when Nigel died, and even if I wanted to actually publish an average of four posts a day (which I don’t want to do), there’s no guarantee that enough posts would allow themselves to be completed.

Instead, I hope to publish a flurry of posts over the next seven days—and beyond—to clear the backlog. Doing so may, to the extent I choose to work on it, make me more inclined to create more posts that I actually finish. Maybe?

This may not work at all, and I know that. At the end of this week, I may go right back to not feeling like blogging. Actually, I may get to tomorrow and feel that way—no promises. But if I manage to get through the posts I want to, well, maybe it’ll continue for awhile.

I’m interested to see what happens. It turns out, I don’t merely talk to myself, I watch what I do, too.